Anna Freud wrote that “sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are.”
There is a difference between the act of sex and the individual experience of our sexuality. Sexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are. Hypnotherapy, imagery and meridian tapping are very effective methods to help with problems of intimacy and sexuality.
Gender Identity
Hypnosis helps people with questions and problems about their gender identity. It allows them to explore and investigate their doubts and to experience what it would be like to be of the other gender. If the decision to have sex-change surgery has been made, hypnosis helps with motivation, being prepared for the surgical ordeal, to control pain and to adapt more fully to the new life.
Sexual Orientation
Hypnotic techniques help the person to accept what cannot be changed and adjust constructively to that situation.
Sexual Preference
In adolescence, we are faced with our sexual preferences, the “things” (activities, sights, scents, etc.) that arouse us and lead to our sexual satisfaction. These “things” include specific parts of the human anatomy and/or body type; physical sensations (including pain); emotional situations (such as fighting and make-up sex); activities and behaviors; scents, sounds, tastes, objects, places, and more.
Sexual preferences are always highly subjective and often culturally determined. Because the person with atypical sexual behavior, like most everybody else, usually imagines beforehand what is going to happen, hypnotic methods work well to help the person be more comfortable with their sexuality or let go of negative behaviors.
Sexual Response
Different from sexual preference, sexual response focuses on what is normally expected, both physiologically and psychologically, when the person has no medical conditions and enjoys good health. There are five progressive stages in human sexual response: Desire, arousal, foreplay, orgasm, and cognitive processing.
The use of visualization or mental rehearsal has shown to be more effective than cognitive therapy. Using visualization techniques, it is possible to substitute and “correct” the negative images that may keep a person in a cycle of unfulfilling or damaging behavior.
People with low libido are better served by proceeding slowly, from sensuality to sex. The person is invited to imagine any physical contact that might be acceptable, or even appealing. Once this is identified, mental rehearsal is centered on it.
Entering into the sexual fantasy as if it were real is helpful for those with an inability to create positive sexual images. This inability could be due to very painful sexual encounters in the past, including sexual abuse or trauma.
Most sexual arousal problems are the result of anxiety and tension, so it’s easy to accept the value of hypnotic relaxation. The imagery is not necessarily sexual at first, but helps the person to have a clear experience of natural relaxation. Then, once they are able to control their anxiety about sexual performance, other feelings that produce stress such as fear of intimacy, anger or guilt can be addressed.
Problems in foreplay often indicate both ignorance and poor sex education, or boredom, lack of emotional excitement, or distracting thoughts unrelated to the sexual situation.
To improve problems in sexual foreplay, the person is helped to have a vivid and detailed mental experience involving all the inner senses, so it is imagined as if it were real and happening right now. After repeated visualization, it becomes so natural that it is expected to happen the way it has been imagined.
Sexual climax or orgasm is the healthy, normal, inevitable, outcome. The inability to reach this physiological conclusion may be due to unresolved problems in the relationship. It may be due to a lack of self-esteem or confidence. Personal beliefs and limitations affect our ability to experience pleasure. All of these problems can be addressed with the use of hypnosis, imagery and meridian therapy.
After sex, we process. The mental activity going on during sex and, especially after it is finished, is very rich. It consists of both mental images and statements, subconscious memories and programming. Hypnotherapy can help the person to focus more on positive aspects of the sexual situation and let go of any negativism related to the experience.
Sexual Mores
Our culture and historical moment allow or forbid, encourage, or discourage sexual behavior. The expectations and rules are established by the economic, political, ethnic, family, social, and religious values and roles. Sexual role rebellion can be expressed in nonconformity in dress, make-up or customs. Those uncomfortable with their rebellion can be helped through learning to accept themselves.
Choose your thoughts. Choose the good ones. And your body will respond.
Your body is your subconscious mind.