Patricia Lynn Belkowitz, M.Msc., C.Ht., EFT

story

 

Are you harming yourself without being aware of it? Sometimes that happens. We create situations in our lives that don’t serve us. We try to please others rather than ourselves. We engage in relationships that are hurtful or controlling. We labor at unsatisfying jobs. We struggle. We don’t need to struggle. Although you have unlimited power to create your experience of life, sometimes you create by default. This way of creating by default is when an individual accepts other people’s stories as the truth. We all start out this way, but we don’t have to continue.

From the moment you are born, you are told stories about who you are. The first story is gender identity and what that means. You are either a girl or a boy. Or maybe not. Then there is the story of your race, your religion, your heritage, your country. More stories are added by your parents who are influenced by their own individual story. Your siblings and friends add to the story. The family tells you if you are rich or poor and define money for you. They tell you what your role is in the family. Maybe you’re the pretty one, or the smart one. Or maybe you are the lazy, stupid one. They tell you how to be a wife or a husband, a mother or father. And then your spouse and your children add to the story. You are told what acceptable behavior is and what is expected of you. You are given roles to play and instructions about how to play the role.

All of these stories are based on other people’s beliefs. You accept. You are not given a choice. You continue to accept until you are about 7 or 8 years old. At that point, also known as the “age of reason”, you start to decide what you believe. These decisions are based not only on what you’ve been told, but are also based on what you have observed or experienced. You determine what you will accept. You do that by making choices. You decide what to believe.

You may make conscious choices, thinking you’re doing everything possible to make things happen. But subconscious choices are also being made beneath your awareness. The conscious mind is ruled by belief. It accepts its own individual version of the way things are. Perhaps you were told that you were worthless and would never amount to anything. When your conscious mind believes that you are worthless, you are unable to succeed. You try and you fail. Your belief becomes reinforced and you now have faith that you will fail. Your subconscious mind which is ruled by faith, is unable to act. The conscious and the subconscious are not in alignment. You may set a goal, but are never motivated and inspired enough to focus and achieve it. Your self-imposed limitations and fears are based on false beliefs and faith in someone else’s opinion.

It doesn’t have to be that way. You can determine your life. You can change your beliefs through self-hypnosis and affirmations. You can learn to have faith in yourself and the value of your own ideas. When you determine your beliefs rather than accept the beliefs of others, you are no longer creating by default.

I invite you to consider the things or situations in your life that could be better. Once you decide what you want to improve upon, ask yourself …”Do I believe I can do it?” If the answer is “no” or “yes, but…” or “if…”, then you need to go within to listen to the truth. False beliefs come from outside influences. You can trust your inner self to reveal the truth about what is possible for you. And anything is possible…if you believe.