Dec 14 2017

How to Tell Your “Self” to Sleep

Category: Control,Health & Wellness,Self-Meditation & MindfulnessPatricia @ 8:44 am



Have you had trouble sleeping? Tossing and turning all night long? Staring at the ceiling? Checking the clock? Did you know that your mind must be in the Alpha brain-wave stage to fall asleep? This is when you’re still conscious, but your body is relaxed. You must relax both your mind and your body in order to fall asleep. This Alpha brain-wave stage is the state you access when you meditate or when you enter the hypnotic state. It allows access to your subconscious mind. This state enables you to focus inward. It allows you to leave the outside world behind; to turn off your rampant and roaming conscious mind so you can relax.

When you have trouble falling asleep, you often focus on that trouble. You tell yourself, “I don’t sleep well.” Or, “It’s been ages since I’ve had a good night’s sleep.” You think about what you don’t want. But… you must remember that what you focus on expands. All you can think about is NOT sleeping!!!

Your thought energy is an incredible tool. You can control this tool. Imagine you’re lying awake in bed. You’re frustrated by your inability to fall asleep. You think, “I’m SO tired! I just want to sleep.” And then you think, “My co-worker Susie is so annoying. I can’t get any work done while she’s jabbering on about her stupid wedding!” And then you think about the wedding which makes you think about your lack of a relationship which makes you sad. And then you think, “Okay, I’m not going to think anymore. No thinking. Stop!”

And then you get more frustrated as you repeat the process over and over again. Susie’s wedding. Mom’s health. Your weight. Bills. Responsibilities. Thoughts creating emotions creating physical responses. An endless stream of thoughts are constantly running through your mind. Thoughts which disturb you. Thoughts which interfere with your ability to relax. You can control what you focus on. You can control your thoughts. You can make that choice.

The first step to changing anything is to become aware of what is happening. When a thought pops into your mind, become the Outside Observer. Notice what you’re thinking and say, “I just noticed myself thinking about…” Consider this…if “I” noticed “myself”…who am “I”? “And who is my “self”?” Could it be that the “I” is the eternal all-knowing soul? And is the “self” the ego/personality of the physical experience? Is the “I” the one that is in control of the “self”? When you recognize that, you become a conscious choice maker. You recognize your power. You will find that there is a great sense of peace and wellbeing within the presence of the “I”.

The next step to remember is, “What you focus on expands.” Being aware of your control over what you are thinking, you now have the ability to direct your “self” into a place of deep relaxation. The most powerful point of focus is your breathing. When you’re focusing on your breathing, you are focusing on something very powerful. You are feeding the cells of your body and you are connecting with the “I”. Breath is the source energy of Life. Simply focusing on the inhale and the exhale will direct your body to relax and enter the Alpha brain-wave state.  It’s easy. Try it.

The secret to your success is the last step: Repetition. Practice. Breathe. Count your breaths. Focus. If your mind wanders (which is likely), become aware of your power to direct your thoughts. And begin again to focus on your breath. The in breath and the out breath. When you reach ten breaths, you will notice a wave of relaxation will flow through your body. When this happens, you will know that you have made the shift from the high-frequency Beta brain-waves to the relaxed state of the Alpha. Now tell your “self” to sleep and your subconscious mind will take care of the rest.


Tags: , ,

Nov 27 2017

Time to Reflect

Category: Choices,ControlPatricia @ 2:43 pm



As the year begins to wind down, it is a good time to reflect on what has happened this year. Consider what your life looked like last January. And now consider how your life has changed since then. What is different? Where are you now? How did you get there? Is it where you want to be? If so, or if not, maybe there are some things you could still accomplish this year.

Your life experience is constantly in a state of flux and change. Nothing remains the same. And I will remind you…you are making the choices that are creating your life experience. You are directing your soul’s journey. Your actions and reactions to your life experience are based on your limited ego’s beliefs about the way things are.

What New Year’s resolutions did you make? Did you achieve these goals? Or did you decide to give up on them? How did you get derailed from your original mission? What changes did you make? Are you happy with the decisions you made?

Often we set goals that are not fueled by passion. If it is a goal that we think we “should” accomplish, we may not have the necessary drive to succeed. Or maybe our goal changes as we become more knowledgeable about what it is we are doing. Goals do not have to be set in stone. They can be more liquid and malleable. They can grow and change as you grow and change.

Now is a good time to consider what to do next. Ask yourself, “What are my new goals and dreams?” When you do this, consider a holistic view of your life. Consider Body, Mind and Spirit. Look at all of these areas of your life separately:

  • Physical Health and Energy. Nourishment. Exercise. Rest.
  • Home Environment. Creating a sacred space of safety and comfort.
  • Play. Pleasure. Passion. Sexuality. Creativity.
  • Confidence and Personal Power. Abundance. Career.
  • Love of Self. Love of Others. Inner Peace and Acceptance.
  • Communication and Expression of Thoughts, Ideas and Feelings. Sharing of Self.
  • Going within to gain intuitive knowledge. Use of imagination and intellect.
  • Connection with Spirit. Oneness with All. Following Your Path.

Is there anything left undone in any of these areas? Is there anything that you need/want to let go of? Any limitations or fears? Any resentment or disappointment? Do you need to forgive anyone…including yourself? What needs your attention? When you give attention to the things standing in your way, you are able to find a way to get around the obstacle. Letting go of the things you no longer need in your life makes way for new and better things to appear.

You can make a commitment to do just three things between now and the first of January. These three things can help you to become a better you to begin the new year. You can honor yourself and your goals by laying a solid foundation to create an environment for you to thrive. You can start right now. There is no need to wait for the calendar date to change. There will never be a time when it is not now.









Tags: , , ,

Sep 28 2017

Stop Whining

Category: ControlPatricia @ 12:53 pm


trash can.1


What’s your complaint? What annoys you? Who is doing things to you…making you feel angry or sad?  Are there obstacles standing in your way? Limitations? Problems that need solving?  Does your life suck? If it does suck, do you think that complaining about it is going to change it? Do you think anyone wants to listen to your complaints? Do you expect others to fix things for you? If they did fix it, would you be satisfied? Or would you complain that they didn’t do it right? No one is responsible for you except you. Figure out the solution to your problem.

Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor best known for his Meditations on Stoic philosophy, advises that we should deal with any obstacles quickly. Do this instead of wasting time complaining about the obstacle. He says, “A cucumber is bitter. Throw it away. There are briars in the road. Turn aside from them. This is enough. Do not add, ‘And why were such things made in the world?’”  In other words, deal with it. And move on.

Are you guilty of complaining? Or maybe you know someone who is skilled at whining or grumbling? Some of us spend a lot of time focusing on what we don’t like; don’t want and don’t need. We find solace in going over all the details of what is wrong and who is at fault.  This happens with individuals. It also happens within a relationship or a community. This negative and futile behavior is heightened when we are experiencing problems and differences in opinions about how to solve those problems. Asking why doesn’t help. Moaning about the way things are and wringing our hands in despair is never a solution to any problem.

With all situations in life, you must look at the solution…not the problem. If you know where you want to be, it’s easier to figure out how to get there. When focusing your attention on the solution, you are energetically aligned with the positive outcome. You can envision the successful accomplishment of your goal and know what steps you need to take to achieve it. You can imagine your future. You can imagine feeling better. You can take action. It is important to focus on what it is you want and why you want it. With that focus of intention, the who, when and where of what you want will fall into place. You don’t have to know all the answers right now. Einstein says, “When the solution is simple, God is answering.”

Experiencing life is a series of ups and downs; joys and sorrows. Bad things happen. There is no value to focusing on the bad things. Move on. Complaining will get you nowhere that you want to be. Whining is a waste of time. Throw away the cucumber. In the final analysis, it’s about how you respond to the bitterness; how you deal with the problem. It’s about what you intend to do right now that determines your future success. It’s always about now. It’s always about you.



Tags: , , , ,

Aug 31 2017

A Reminder From Harvey

Category: ControlPatricia @ 3:43 pm

hurricane harvey


Southeastern Texas is suffering. Hurricane Harvey is causing unprecedented and catastrophic flooding. More than 50 inches of rain are expected to fall as Harvey slowly moves through the area. Within the storm are extreme winds and isolated tornadoes. Estimates expect the damage total to exceed $10 billion. The rivers are rising. Lives will be lost. Even those of us not living in the danger zone are monitoring the effects of this massive storm. We don’t really know what the long term effects will be. We just know that it’s bad. Very bad. A storm like Harvey reminds us of how vulnerable we are; how powerless we are over the forces of nature. A simple shift in the wind can mean the difference between life and death.

We live in a universe of duality and contrast. There is darkness and light; left and right. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Extremely bad conditions can create extremely good reactions. In fact, they often do just that. Disasters bring out the best in us. Boundaries of race, religion, economic status…blue tribe or red tribe do not matter. These arbitrary divisions really don’t matter at all. All that matters is humanity. We witness the selflessness of those who put their own lives in danger in order to help others.  People actively and willingly look out for others. We rise to the occasion. A life is a life is a life. All lives matter.

When disaster strikes, community becomes stronger. We recognize that we are not in this alone. We are neighbors. We can do more together. We need each other. We care about each other. A community is really no more than a big family. Sometimes we forget that. It’s easy to do. We forget about being kind to each other. We don’t remember how much we depend on each other. Disaster gives us an opportunity to remember what we value.

As individuals, we are no more than a tiny speck of matter. Together we are the whole of humanity. Perhaps Harvey is here to remind us that we need to work together to get things done; to remember that each individual is an important part of the whole community. Harvey reminds us that we can’t forget the ones who need help. And that everyone deserves to be helped. Harvey reminds us that it could get personal…it could be you that needs help the next time.

When disaster strikes, we may feel powerless. And then we can access the situation. We can consider our actions; decide what we can control.  In that moment, we are able to feel our own power. We take action to take care of what matters. Harvey is big enough to get our attention. Harvey can remind us that each one of us has the power to do what is right; to help one another. We are better able to face our biggest challenges when we do it together.




Tags: ,

Aug 22 2017

Enjoying the Picnic – With or Without Ants

Category: Choices,ControlPatricia @ 8:35 am




The warm, lazy days of summer offer an opportunity to spend more time outside in nature. We play more. Longer days also allow us to relax; to experience more of the sweetness of life. There is an abundance of color and growth in the natural world. We make a point of taking a vacation or a staycation. A common activity is to pack a picnic basket and enjoy a simple meal under the welcoming shade of a tree. We can enjoy the sounds of the birds and the wind rustling through the branches. We can stretch out and take a nap on the soft grass and feel the earth beneath our feet. We can engage in meditative thought in peaceful surroundings. We can also be annoyed. Even in the quiet beauty of nature, we can become distracted by negative thoughts.

Your thoughts can take the form of a mosquito buzzing in your ear, keeping you tuned into an unpleasant distraction or an unwelcome thought. Or your thoughts can seem like a line of ants marching across your picnic blanket, messing up your solitude and wreaking havoc on your plans. In either case, you can choose to observe the mosquito or the ants. You can swat at the mosquito and allow it to disturb you. Or you can ignore it. You can watch as the ants march off the other side of the blanket and disappear from sight. Or you can panic and rearrange everything on your blanket to avoid contact with them. In either case, you could focus on the annoying things. You could fuss over them. You could get angry with them. You could feel sad that they have ruined your picnic. You could even let them bite you!

But you have power over the annoying insects. You have power over the annoying thoughts. You decide. It’s your choice. It’s always your choice.

Are you making yourself suffer? Maybe you think the mosquito or the ant is what is making you unhappy…those things outside of you that are out to get you…to make you suffer. But it’s not the outside things that are making you suffer. It’s your reaction to the things. And you are in control of your reactions. You have the freedom to make a choice to react differently when the annoying things get to you.

When you focus on the negative, you suffer. When you react in a negative manner, you increase your suffering. Pay attention to your thoughts. Focus on the ones that make you happy. Relax and enjoy the picnic. Summer will be over soon. Everything in life is temporary. Don’t waste your time slapping at mosquitos or fretting over ants. Stay within your place of inner peace when outside things threaten to annoy you.




Tags: , , , ,

Jun 26 2017

Just One Thing

Category: Control,Inspirational QuotesPatricia @ 4:29 pm


So maybe life isn’t going as you expected. The year is half over and those New Year’s resolutions have not panned out. Maybe you regret what you’ve done or maybe you regret what you didn’t do. Maybe that job you were hoping for didn’t come through. You didn’t even get the rejection call from the employer. Or maybe that man you’ve been dating did make the rejection call. Maybe you can’t pay your rent and you don’t know what to do next. Any one of those things can send us into a feeling of overwhelm or panic. We look for answers. We ask, “how did this happen?” We consider all the things we did wrong. We determine many ways to blame. We think of all the ways we may be able to fix the situation. And sometimes we can’t think of any way at all. When this happens, we experience “analysis paralysis.” And then nothing happens. We can’t take action. Our analysis of the situation has literally paralyzed our ability to act.

When we experience regrets about what we could have done; should have done; or what would happen if we had done…we dwell on all the negative aspects of the situation. We focus on everything we perceive to have done wrong. We judge ourselves and others. We assign responsibility for the situation. CouldaShouldaWoulda World is not a place you want to visit! Remember you did what you did with what you knew at the time. You made choices. Your life is a reflection of your choices.

We would all be better served if we chose to concentrate our efforts on changing just one aspect of our thoughts and actions. When we spend our time thinking about all the things that we need to change, it’s impossible to focus on taking constructive action on just one thing. When we focus, everything is much easier to accomplish.

You don’t need to address everything at once…you just need to focus on one thing! And do you know what that one thing is? The one thing you can do to influence your outside world…is to go within and to focus on what you want! This one thing is the most powerful and influential thing you can do. Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “Do the thing and you will have the Power.”

We all have the ability to do the thing. You are born with an imagination and desire. You have gifts, skills, talents and abilities. It’s an inside thing. Using your ability to visualize, imagine, pretend and experience, you create your life. You determine what you want. You have the ability to make the choices to create the actions which bring the experience into your reality.

Stop analyzing what you are doing wrong. Let go of the regrets. Kiss the blame goodbye. And begin again in this moment. Remember the only time there will ever be is this now moment. Now go within. Focus. Do the thing.


Tags: , , , , , , ,

Apr 10 2017

Feeling Under Pressure

Category: Choices,ControlPatricia @ 6:08 pm



Growth can be uncomfortable and stressful.  Change is difficult. A lobster doesn’t have a choice. He has to change. He literally outgrows his shell. He must act in order to survive. And that action literally puts his survival at risk. Imagine the stress! I wonder if a lobster finds it difficult to decide when it’s time to leave the past behind and create something new.

In order for a lobster to grow, it must periodically shed its hard shell. The act of escaping from the old shell is known as ecdysis. This word comes from the Greek, ekdysis, meaning “getting out”.  Since lobsters continue to grow throughout their lives, they spend much of their time either preparing for or recovering from getting out.

Ecdysis is a complicated process. Preparation is required. A new exoskeleton is created beneath the old one. If any limbs have been lost, they begin to regenerate. The lobster’s body knows just what to do. It removes blood and causes appendages to dissolve. The shell opens allowing the lobster to withdraw its shriveled limbs from the old skeleton. The escape can take anywhere from several minutes to more than half an hour to complete. If the shedding is prolonged, it usually results in death because the lobster in the midst of ecdysis is entirely helpless and vulnerable, virtually unable to move. Once freed, the lobster remains secluded for several days while its shell hardens. Within the first five to seven years of its life, a lobster may shed its shell up to 25 times. It gets easier, however. Adult lobsters only shed about once every one or two years.

The lobster is uncomfortable with the ways things are. It feels itself under pressure. Its growth has created stress and the stress is building. The lobster knows what to do. It has to get out. It doesn’t fight the change. It doesn’t think about whether it is worthy of changing; or if it deserves to live a bigger life. It doesn’t evaluate whether it has all the facts or whether it knows how to make the change.

What can we learn from the lobster? Lobster is a symbol of solitude and regeneration; the need to shed the outer shell and to go within. Personal growth lies within our inner world. Lobsters continually transform themselves into something bigger, casting off what restricts them. They get out of their own way! And they do it without judgment or ego! Lobsters take a big risk, leaving themselves vulnerable and alone, stripped of all protection. They have faith in their ability to create a new version of themselves.

Lobster tells us to not let the opinions and restrictions of the outside world define you. Heed your own instincts. Trust yourself. Break free and continue to grow throughout your life. Seek solace in solitude and take that time to better understand yourself and your life’s mission. When you go within, you find your true happiness and fulfillment. And you come out bigger and better than you were before. All of life is change and growth is renewal.




Tags: , , ,

Apr 04 2017

Useful and Beautiful

Category: Choices,ControlPatricia @ 10:28 am



Spring cleaning. Life cleaning. We all have to do it. I make it a practice to sort through the drawers, closets and cupboards in my home; to let go of what is no longer needed.  Last year, I decided to look at everything with a common requirement. Everything I keep must be useful and/or beautiful. I’ve come to accept that what I deem to be beautiful may not be useful in a conventional way. However, my definition of useful has expanded. It’s my life, so I get to make the choices. (Same as you!) Art is useful for creating a pleasing environment; photographs serve as a memory aid and an emotional boost. The process is time consuming and sometimes emotionally draining but it’s necessary. We’ve all seen what can happen if we fail to do it… hoarding happens.

I know I’m not alone in this pursuit. I think many of us struggle with taking time to clean out the things that are no longer of value. It’s the reason why storage units were invented. It’s a relatively new concept of modern living for when people just have way too much stuff. They literally have outgrown their own homes. They have filled up every nook and cranny with stuff that they think they need. And now there is no more room for the stuff they do need. Rather than get rid of stuff, they move it to another space. And they pay rent on that space. Sometimes they never even return to get their stuff. It sits collecting dust, only to be sold at auction to pay for the cost of keeping it in storage. How do you experience the new, if the old is taking up space? How do you experience life’s present moment, if you are weighed down by the past? Christina Scalise, in her book, “Organize Your Life and More” says, “Clutter is the physical manifestation of unmade decisions fueled by procrastination.”

Sometimes the old stuff is not even your own stuff. I have stuff from my mom and dad. They no longer have any use for worldly possessions. I hold on to the remnants. Yes, I’ve narrowed the remnants down to just a few boxes. But those boxes contain much more than just stuff. It is stuff that belonged to people I love. It’s different than ordinary stuff. Everything is like a limited edition.  Experts call it the “endowment effect”. An insignificant item may be endowed with an exaggerated value making it feel more important to you. Regardless of that effect, I will continue to apply my beautiful and useful rules so that I can let it go. Do you have that stuff in your life? Do you want to be responsible for other people’s stuff? Did your grown child leave behind stuff that is cluttering up your space? Is it taking up space you could use for your own stuff? When you hold on to other people’s stuff, you may have trouble setting boundaries or saying “no”. You are only responsible for your own stuff. Make it useful and beautiful.

Fung Shui experts agree that your living space is a reflection of your inner space…your subconscious mind. Your home is a container for your stuff. When you clear away the clutter in your living space, you can transform your entire existence. Personal transformation can occur when we let go of the things that no longer serve us. This can create balance and a place that nurtures serenity and inner peace. What you keep around you needs to change and grow, as you change and grow. Your home needs to reflect who you are…right now. When you discard the clutter, regard it as a sign of your progression in life. Acknowledge its purpose in your life. You may be surprised to note that many of the things you possess have already fulfilled their role. The dress made you feel fabulous at the party. The shoes have danced or hiked. The battered suitcase has taken you where you wanted to go. The chipped dishes have held many delicious meals. Be grateful for the experiences, process the past and let go. All that will remain are the things that you really treasure. Right now. Ownership of things does not bring happiness. Things help you to experience the journey. They remind you of the journey. They are not the journey. Life is not about having. Life is about being. May it be a useful and a beautiful life journey.












Tags: , , ,

Oct 31 2016

Stop Scaring Yourself!

Category: ControlPatricia @ 12:49 pm






Do you ever feel anxious? If so, apparently you are not alone. Do you realize that over the past eight years, Google searches for terms related to anxiety have doubled? The searches have included all sorts of anxiety: driving, flying and travel in general; separation anxiety; performance anxiety; anxiety at work, at school and at home. It’s not just the different kinds of anxiety, it’s also time specific searches. “Anxiety in the morning” is popular. “Anxiety at night” is even more popular. The number one search is “anxiety attack symptoms.” Attack!!! Who is attacking you? Just thinking about all the anxiety in the world can make you feel anxious and afraid!!!

So, what is anxiety? The dictionary defines it as “painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill.” It’s also defined as “an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increased pulse), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one’s capacity to cope with it.”

What if there were a solution? There is a solution! And it’s all in your head! Anxiety is created when you are thinking about what you don’t want. So, stop it! And start thinking about what you do want! If you are creating an “uneasiness of mind” over something that is not happening, realize that you are making it up. The anxiety is a result of your anticipation. You are in control of what you think about. When you experience the symptoms of a panic attack, your body is reacting to your thoughts. The symptoms are very real. You can feel as if you’re going to faint, break out in a cold sweat and bring on heart palpitations. You can literally think yourself into full-fledged fight/flight survival mode. You’re making yourself sick over an imaginary threat. Again, I tell you, stop it!!!

Anxiety is fed by doubt. It could be doubt about what may happen or doubt about your ability to deal with what may happen. Since you’re making up what may happen, perhaps you could consider making up something good about your ability to deal with what may happen. The opposite of doubt is confidence. Simple. It’s a choice you can make. What you tell yourself is very important. What you tell yourself determines what you are and are not able to do. So tell yourself that even if it’s difficult, you will be able to do it. Because when you tell yourself that you can and you will, you will find that you can and you will accomplish whatever it is you truly want to accomplish.  Your anxiety can not attack you when you take control of your doubt. There is no reason to scare yourself!


Tags: , , , ,

Oct 17 2016

Face the Strange

Category: Choices,Control,Positive ThinkingPatricia @ 12:18 pm




Embracing change is not easy. In general, we don’t like it! We do our best to avoid it! Change makes us uncomfortable and uneasy. We are unsure about what to expect. Sometimes it makes us fearful. Regardless of how we feel about it, change will happen anyway. Guaranteed. Change makes life different. It alters things; modifies and transforms. And often, it makes things better! In order to make change a little easier, I suggest you consider the following advice.

Change is the only constant in life. You can depend on things changing. Change can not be avoided. Everything in life is change. And growth is a renewal. Perspectives shift. Perception adjusts. You learn. You become better. When that happens, you want things to change in order to better suit you.

Change creates excitement and adventure. It gives your life momentum. You have to move forward when change is happening. You can be bored and stagnate without change. Comfort is your enemy. A change in location or career or relationship helps you to progress in life as you are exposed to new experiences.

Change will show you who matters in your life. It reveals your champions and defenders and positive influences. It also reveals those who do not support you or those who create a negative influence. Change helps you to let go of those relationships. Those who love you always want the best for you

Change is an opportunity to re-invent yourself. It allows you to become someone new. You can try on a new role, a new look or a new routine. You decide how you present yourself to the world. When you change, people notice. You attract new friendships and opportunities.

Change adds to your life story. It brings more lessons, people, places and experiences into your life. It makes you more interesting; more compassionate; smarter and better prepared for what is coming next.

Change is the universe’s way of preparing you for something better. It shakes things up so you no longer have a choice. Sometimes when we become too comfortable and perhaps too lazy, situations will arise that force us to do things differently. You lose your stressful, low-paying job and something better comes along. Your worthless boyfriend breaks up with you and you have the opportunity to meet someone new. Change creates.

Embracing the change ensures you receive the positive benefits that will happen when the change has been complete. When life is changing quickly or abruptly, do your best to accept and embrace the transition you are experiencing. Trust that good things will result from the change and that you will benefit. Relax and go with the flow. Everything is unfolding just as it is to be. As David Bowie said, “Ch-ch-ch-Changes. Turn and face the strange.”



Oct 17 2016

Plan Backwards

Category: Choices,Control,Health & Wellness,Motivation,Weight ManagementPatricia @ 11:39 am




When we set a goal, we think about it as a future event, situation or experience. We set a date. It is something in the distance…a destination at the end of a journey. One way to move forward to meet a big goal is to plan backwards.

When your goal is complex or requires the passage of time for completion, you need to break it down into more “doable” goals. A doable goal requires less time to see the results. It’s important to recognize the successful completion of every step along the way to your success. Remember, there is no express elevator to achieving success. You have to take one step at a time. Recognizing your progress helps to motivate you to continue. You have the end in sight. Setting up step by step goals can also help you to be more aware and conscious of any changes or deviations that need to be made.

Let’s say you want to lose 20 pounds for an event that is three months away. Obviously, this is not a goal you can achieve in a weekend. In order to lose the 20 pounds, you need to start planning backwards to break the goal down into little, easily achievable goals. Imagine that you want to lose 2 pounds every week. This is a doable goal. To lose 2 pounds, you need to cut your caloric intake or increase your caloric burn. It requires 3500 extra calories to gain a pound, which means that it would take 7000 less calories to lose those 2 pounds. If you break that down, you see that you need to eliminate 1000 calories each day to achieve your goal. This is a doable goal. Many people eat 3 meals and at least 2 snacks every day. If you decrease your intake each time you eat by just 200 calories, you’ve done it! You have successfully taken a big, overwhelming goal and you divided it into very small, achievable goals. You are able to achieve a small goal multiple times during the day. When you check your weight after seven days, you are able to celebrate your success. If you did not lose the anticipated 2 pounds, you are able to make an adjustment to insure your success next week. You keep your end goal in mind.

When you commit to your success, you will be able to achieve your goal in just 10 weeks!!! You might want to consider beginning this goal right now. There will be no need for New Year’s resolutions. You will be happily dancing your way into the New Year weighing 20 pounds less than you do right now!

Planning backwards helps you to move forward for all kinds of big goals. Consider a big goal you may have. Perhaps you want to take that dream vacation or buy a new car. Begin saving today. If it’s a goal, you will find a way to take action. If you can’t find a way, than it is not a goal… it’s just a wish. And after time, it may become a regret.

Make a commitment to your goal. Take the first step to succeed in your plan. Keep your goal in mind and follow the steps backwards until you have reached the beginning, which is where you are right now. Get excited about what you plan to accomplish because without excitement and enthusiasm, you’ll lose sight of your plan and you won’t move forward. You can do it!


Tags: , , , ,

Oct 11 2016

Confine Yourself

Category: Choices,ControlPatricia @ 11:17 am



Marcus Aurelius (121-180 AD) believed happiness was to be achieved by living “according to nature” in harmony with the principle which orders the universe. A Roman emperor and philosopher who composed bits of wisdom in a work called Meditations, he believed that the serenity of someone who lived in the present moment could not be affected by misfortunes of the past or the fear of the future. He advised, “Confine yourself to the present.”

Have you considered this bit of advice? When you’re thinking about the past, you’re thinking about it now. When you’re thinking about the future, you’re thinking about it now. There is only the now moment. Thinking about the past may cause you to feel regret or depression. Thinking about the future may create anxiety or fear. When you stay in the moment, you have more creative control. You can not change the past and the future does not exist.

Your thoughts are a constant stream of consciousness. They exist in the moment. And you are in control of your thoughts…in the moment. You decide what to focus upon. You decide what feelings you want to evoke. When you think about things in the past that disturb you, you create the same vibrational energy that you felt during that time in the past when you had the experience. The principle which orders the universe responds to your vibrational thought energy right now. It responds to your focus and how you are feeling about it. Be aware that you could be re-creating past problems or similar situations. Do you want that? When you let go of the past that disturbs you, you are able to create new experiences. You grow. You become better. Wiser.

You get what you’re thinking about. You can spend your thought energy however you want. I would hope that you would want to invest in your own happiness. When you think about things in the past that make you happy, you get the benefit of re-creating that vibrational energy now. Your body responds well to happy, positive thoughts. It actually functions better in a tension free environment. Gina Bellin says, “The only way to deal with the future is to function efficiently in the now.” When you’re thinking the happy thoughts in the present, you are depositing into a future where you will receive more.

When you “confine” yourself, you set boundaries, limits and restrictions. When you “confine yourself to the present”, you decide what your priority is in the moment. When limiting your actions to insure your priority is accomplished, you are more efficient and effective. When you restrict your thoughts to what you want, you are able to create a sense of peace and serenity. And you can do that right now.

Your future self will benefit from what you do right now. Take the advice of a wise man from the past.




Tags: ,

Oct 04 2016

Understanding Your Mind

Category: Control,HypnotherapyPatricia @ 9:38 am

human computer


Have you ever felt like you were losing your mind? Or that you couldn’t control your thoughts…repeating hurtful comments or reviewing painful experiences? Or maybe you’re feeling fearful and worrying about the future? Perhaps you’d like to learn a little more about your mind so you’re better able to find yourself. Did you know that your conscious mind accounts for only 12% of your mind? The other 88% is subconscious. The mind is very much like an iceberg where most everything is happening below the surface of your awareness.

Your conscious mind is responsible for retaining and remembering the events and feelings of the last hour and a half. Just 90 minutes! Awareness is a function of your conscious mind. The other functions are logic, reasoning and willpower. Information is received by your conscious mind from your environment and your physical body. We are continually bombarded by these bits of information from the outside world. However, the most influential source of information comes from the “knowns” within your subconscious mind. And what is a “known”? Exactly as you might think…it’s something you know and are familiar with; you have learned it, you understand it and are comfortable with it. A known can be a negative or a positive.

Part of your conscious mind is your critical area of mind. Before this critical area of mind is developed, everything we experience just is.  We accept it all as Truth. About the age of 7 or 8 (the time when we begin to question Santa Claus and the ToothFairy), the permanent filter has been installed. The critical area of mind acts as a waiting room. Containing memories of approximately the last 24 hours, this area of your mind is where you analyze information based on your conditioning and belief system. After analyses, the accumulated bits of information are processed when sleep takes place or when consciousness is in abeyance, as in the hypnotic state. Some are allowed to go into modern memory, becoming a known; others are discarded or vented out through your dreams. Your motivation comes from the knowns in your modern memory. These positive and negative knowns create your lifescript.

Also within your subconscious mind is the primitive area of mind. It includes all primitive memory, including genetic heritage and evolved learning and conditioning. It operates the survival mechanisms of life triggering the fight/flight reaction when needed. It also controls the autonomic nervous system which operates the automatic functions of the body such as heart beat, respiration, digestion, cell reproduction, growth and healing.

Now that your conscious mind, that little 12%, is overloaded with bits of information, consider that your subconscious mind has everything under control. It has been busy with the extraordinary job of keeping you alive, and is now in the process of analyzing this information as it creates a new network of knowns in your modern memory. This process will be completed when the conscious mind becomes unconscious during sleep.

When the conscious mind is asleep, it is not capable of receiving. It is only dropping the accumulated bits of information into the modern memory, passing them through the filter and then venting them through dreams. During hypnosis, the conscious mind is not unconscious. Positive bits of information can be downloaded and accepted as knowns. The release and acceptance of information takes place instantly.  And through hypnotic suggestion, the venting process can begin. A suggestion given in the hypnotic state is much stronger than one given in the conscious state because it moves quickly from the critical area to the modern memory.

Hypnosis creates a path that allows access to the subconscious mind, the 88% of your mind that is controlling your behavior, your motivation, your pleasure and your pain. Using the power of hypnosis, you can create changes in your behavior by changing your knowns. You can replace pain with pleasure. You can re-write your lifescript. 100%.


Tags: , ,

Aug 18 2016


Category: ControlPatricia @ 11:34 am





Would you like to play a fun game? A game that would help you to predict the future? Something that would make you feel more hopeful about your life expectations? It’s a little game about what you believe you will experience. What do you expect? Do you have any control over it? Is it good? Is it bad?

Get two sheets of paper. Find a black, a green and a red pen. Get comfortable and allow yourself time to consider what is happening in your life. Think about your dreams and aspirations. Contemplate any unsolved problem or dilemmas. Be real with yourself.

Now take your black pen and write down ten things that you expect to happen in the future. You decide when that future is. Give yourself a time frame. Are you looking at your expectations in the next month or within five years’ time? Maybe it is a short term list of expectations. Maybe it has a more long term focus. Examples might be: Ask for a raise. Lose 10 pounds. Go to school. End a relationship or begin one. Recover from an illness.

When your list is complete, take your green pen and circle all the positive events you are anticipating. Consider these events and allow yourself to feel the positive emotions the imagery evokes. Imagery is a powerful tool to direct your life’s path.

Now take your red pen and draw a circle around all the expectations that are of a negative nature. Take a moment to consider what makes it feel negative. Is there a way that you could make yourself aware of any positive aspects of this negative expectation? For instance, you may have to suffer the pain and discomfort of a root canal procedure. Unpleasant for certain. But is it negative? No. Because the result is that you have done what was necessary to save your tooth. A very positive outcome.

When you have completed your circles, take the next step. Using the green pen, put an “A” next to the event that you can control or create. This is an event where you can be Active. Now consider the events over which you have little or no control. Using the red pen, put a “P” next to these events. This is an event where you are not able to actively influence the outcome. Consider that you must be Passive. It’s like being at a traffic light. Green is go – move forward; do something. Red is stop – stay waiting until you are given the signal to move.

Do you have more positive than negative expectations? Are there more green active circles than passive red circles surrounding your future experiences? Of course you should have more positive than negative expectations. And it would be best to recognize your ability to be more active than to be passive in creating your life.

Give yourself some inner time to reflect on what you have determined to be the negative or passive events. During this time, you may find that you are able to change your perceptions about your expectations. In doing so, you may realize that you have the ability to let go of disappointments. You also have the ability to raise the levels of your optimism and hope. Remember – you get what you expect!

Tags: ,

May 10 2016

Check Your Attitude

Category: ControlPatricia @ 7:01 pm



Do you feel in control of your life? Or does it feel like everything is out of control? It can be scary when situations in life change and you’re not sure what to do next. When you’re doing something new and unfamiliar, you may be frightened until you know what to expect. If you want to feel more in control, check your attitude. Your attitude is the control center of your life. And your attitude is based on your thoughts and beliefs.

As human beings, we are programmed to consider new experiences with a certain amount of fear. We can feel uncomfortable. We want to know what to expect so we can feel comfortable; more in control of the situation. Your attitude about yourself and your abilities affects your expectations. Your attitude is your belief in yourself and is a reflection of your self-confidence. Your behavior is a reflection of your attitude. Your attitude is the way your think or feel about something. It is your view; the way you approach life. It is your personal perspective of the way things are…your story.

Remember that the new and unfamiliar future only exists in your thoughts. And you are in control of your thoughts. We are making it up as we go. We tell ourselves a story about what might happen. We base the story on what has happened in the past and our feelings about what has happened. Sometimes we tell ourselves a good story and we feel good. When we allow ourselves to imagine and experience a positive expectation, we benefit from those thoughts. We are more prepared and at ease in new situations. We feel more confident about our actions. We get to practice through visualization in our mind’s eye before we experience the reality. We get inspired to follow through on our goals when we get in touch with our feelings about the achievement of the goal or the end of the story.

Sometimes we tell ourselves a very bad story which makes us feel out of control. When you tell a bad story, you experience fear and anxiety about things which don’t even exist yet! When you’re worrying about the future, you are literally planning for things you don’t want to happen. All the time and energy you spend in this negative emotional state is working against you. You are literally creating your own worst fears. And your physical body is reacting to and suffering from those thoughts!

I want to remind you that you are always in control of your thoughts. You are making up the story…good or bad. You are consciously making a choice about which thoughts to focus upon. Why not spend your time and energy focusing on your desires instead of your fears? Imagine the best case scenario. Focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want! You want to be slim. You don’t want to be fat. You want to be prosperous. You don’t want to struggle financially. You want to be loveable. You don’t want to be alone. Just that shift in thinking will make a difference about how you feel. It will also make a difference in how you act and how you react. In that moment, you actively take part in the creation of your life. You take control of the situation. You create the story. And your attitude creates the happy ending!


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Apr 20 2016

Boiling Water

Category: ControlPatricia @ 3:18 pm

boiling water


Have you heard the story of a young woman who was dealing with a crisis in her marriage? She found that her husband had been unfaithful. She was in a lot pain. She was angry. Humiliated. Sad. She knew she could trust the wise counsel of her grandmother. One day, as they sat in her grandmother’s kitchen, she told her story. When she was finished, she asked, “Grandmother, what shall I do? How do I move on?”

Her grandmother asked her to come closer to the stove where she had put a pan of carrots on to boil. She asked the young woman to feel the carrots. When she did, she noted that they were soft. The grandmother then asked the granddaughter to take an egg from a bowl in the refrigerator. She asked her to break the egg open. When she pulled off the shell, a hard-boiled egg was revealed.

Then, the grandmother poured a cup of coffee for each of them. She asked the granddaughter to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled as she enjoyed its rich aroma and full flavor. The granddaughter then asked, “What does it all mean? What are you saying, grandmother? What do carrots, eggs and coffee have to do with anything?”

Her grandmother laughed and then explained that each of these objects had faced an adversity, the same adversity: boiling water. Each had been thrown into a situation beyond their control. It was not their choice, but they had to deal with it. Each reacted differently to the situation. The carrot went in strong and hard. But after being in the boiling water, it softened. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But after being subjected to the boiling water, it became hard inside. The ground coffee beans were most unique. After time in the boiling water, they transformed the water. The coffee beans changed the situation around them by changing themselves.

Life is not about what happens to you. It’s about how you react to what happens to you. And your reactions are based on your subconscious programming. You react according to how you believe you should react. You react as you have been taught to react. You react based on your past perceptions. We run on automatic pilot. But I’d like you to consider this: there is a moment between the thing, circumstance or person that evokes a reaction and your response to that thing. That moment is the moment of choice. That is the moment of creation. That is the moment of Now. And you are in control of your response in that moment. Unlike the carrot, the egg or the coffee, you can make a conscious choice about how you deal with what happens to you.



Tags: , , , ,

Dec 21 2015

Five Ways to Trick Your Willpower

Category: ControlPatricia @ 3:37 pm



We all need to engage our willpower if we want to get anything done. Willpower is a function of your conscious mind, along with logic, reasoning and awareness. Together these qualities comprise a whopping 12% of your mind. The other 88% is your subconscious mind, the seat of your motivation and memory; your lifescript, your belief in the way things are. Every decision you make takes willpower, and difficult decisions require a lot more willpower. You have to consciously choose to take an action. Your conscious mind has to believe in the action you are taking. Your subconscious mind has to have faith that you will succeed. Many times you have to suppress an appealing option for a less appealing one. You may want to lose a few pounds of extra weight. That might require engaging in physical exercise instead of passively watching your favorite cooking programs on TV. Your willpower will make the choice.

In order to be more successful in engaging your willpower, you might want to try one of these tricks to help yourself.

  1. Keep your state of well-being high. In other words…just take good care of yourself. If you’re hungry because you haven’t taken the time to feed yourself, you are more likely to look for junk food and empty calories. If you are trying to do too much and not giving yourself the rest you need, you will be exhausted and unable to function. If you are utterly deprived of fun and the joy of living, you will be cranky! Nutritious food, restful sleep and fun activities all boost your willpower to succeed at any goal.
  2. Pace yourself. When you spend all your willpower all at once, you have nothing left over. Some tasks are very demanding and require more willpower. Perhaps you need to organize your year-end taxes or clean out your garage and you’d rather not. Learn to mix the simple everyday tasks of life in with the difficult ones. When you spread out the most difficult tasks over multiple days, you will have more success. Be kind to yourself. Be less demanding.
  3. Tackle the most important tasks first. Sometimes we procrastinate doing the more difficult tasks by telling ourselves that we have many other things we need to accomplish. Taking on the important task first might make your other tasks more difficult to accomplish, but it makes your important task a priority. You are more likely to succeed in doing what matters most. You can do 10 things that don’t matter and convince yourself that you were successful, but are you? Your priority is not accomplished. Priority means “deserving prior attention”. If something is a priority to you, it means you should have accomplished it before now. Therefore, it is at the top of your list. Use your willpower and do it now!
  4. Reduce your choices. Distractions create the need to use willpower. Keep things simple and stay focused on what you want. Don’t fill your world with things or people or thoughts that distract you. Eliminate such distractions.
  5. Timing matters. Choosing the right tasks at the right time is important. Some things you need to do mostly affect your state, while others mostly affect your skills. When you devote time to doing things which keep your body in a healthy state, you are able to keep your willpower in a healthy state. And in that state, you are able to develop your skills to deal with whatever you need to accomplish.

The key to success is balance. Learn to balance the priority of your “to do” list with taking care of yourself. Taking care of your body, mind and spirit is the secret to your willpower.

Tags: , , , , , ,

Sep 01 2015

The Pendulum Swings

Category: ControlPatricia @ 11:21 am



We live in an age of digital clocks. We see time on our cell phones, computer screens and TVs. But not so long ago, we used other ways to measure and display time. Before electricity and batteries, clocks operated under the influence of gravity, using a pendulum. The pendulum would be suspended from a fixed support, allowing it to swing freely back and forth to regulate the clock. The pendulum could slow down or speed up based on any number of mechanical factors. Accuracy was not guaranteed. Clocks had many gears and wheels and springs. Sometimes the inner workings, also known as the movement, needed to be tinkered with until things got back into balance.

Pendulum also means something that changes its position or attitude fairly regularly, swinging back and forth from one opinion or condition to another. A person may be “wishy-washy” or a “flip-flopper” because their opinions change on a regular basis. Consider the pendulum of public opinion or that of fashion. Just take a look at hemlines throughout history and you will see a reflection of both. Things change and yet they remain the same. The pendulum swings.

Since you are alive and experiencing the day to day moments of life, you can be certain that the pendulum of your emotions is moving all the time! When you are centered, the pendulum is absolutely still. You are at peace with yourself and the world. But then a thought comes to mind and brings an emotion with it. It doesn’t matter whether the thought is a loving thought or a fearful thought. The pendulum begins to swing. Whatever thought you focus upon and become attached to will pull the pendulum in that direction. The laws of nature tell us that once the pendulum is pulled in one way, it will swing back. It will go past the center to the opposite realm. In other words, things will change!

Just like the pendulum in the clock, the accuracy of your personal emotional pendulum is not always guaranteed. Any number of factors can send it swinging wildly back and forth. Relationships, finances and health can influence your balance. You could make the mistake of worrying about things you can’t control. Or you could become attached to a particular outcome, creating an opportunity for disappointment or anger. You could suffer from mood swings, moving from excitement to despair. You may feel a little out of control and need to tinker with your inner workings.

Consider this: All the outside stuff is temporary. It is always changing. Mini skirts and maxi skirts. Skinny jeans and bell-bottoms. All come and go and come back again. Yet you remain. You are eternal and timeless. Let go of fleeting thoughts which pull your emotions to the extreme and set the pendulum in motion. You can take control and remain in the center of it all. Focus on your breathing and go within to your place of knowing. Recognize the power of the moment. Breath brings clarity of thought. You have the power to stop the pendulum from swinging. Be still. Take the time to tinker with your inner workings. There is always some means to adjust the rate of the clock. Adjust your pendulum so that it swings back and forth with a precise interval between each swing; never going wildly out of control but staying in balance.

In a clock mechanism, there is a gear called an escape wheel which is released one tooth at a time by a lever that rocks back and forth. Each time the escape wheel moves forward it also gives the pendulum a push to keep it moving. When the outside world is changing, sometimes it is necessary to escape. When you go inside, you can keep a steady beat and move forward.



Tags: , , , , ,

Aug 18 2015

Measure Twice

Category: ControlPatricia @ 5:54 pm



Baking is both an art and a science. I come from a long tradition of bakers. We take our treats seriously! Many years ago I was given Gramma’s recipe for pie crust. This recipe is a treasure. It includes secret ingredients which make the crust very pliable and easy to roll out. Besides its flexible nature, it is very flaky and tasty too. Every Thanksgiving I have successfully fulfilled my mission of making a homemade apple pie from scratch. You know it’s all about the crust. And it is worth the effort.

Recently I was asked by a friend if I would teach her how to make a pie crust. For some reason, she believed that this was a mysterious and difficult task with great risk of failure. I assured her that it was easy to do. Few ingredients. Simple. I would be happy to show her how it’s done. Since I was visiting with her in Connecticut in the summertime, we decided to make a peach pie. Very fuzzy peaches were stripped of their skin, sliced and sugared. We couldn’t resist nibbling bits of sweet juiciness.

Ingredients were gathered and set out alongside of measuring tools. A workspace was dedicated for rolling out the dough. Maureen had purchased a small bag of flour. Just two pounds. I normally have a five pound bag which I measure from. But this day, I saw the small bag and read 32 oz. Well, I thought, 32 oz. is good. I won’t even need to measure. I need four cups of flour. A cup is 8 oz. 8×4=32. Simple. I dump the flour into the mixing bowl. Done.

And then we add the other ingredients, a little bit at a time, as I instruct Maureen. I tell her about how the dough will form into pea-size nuggets. This will signal us as to when the ingredients have been properly blended and the dough is ready for the rolling pin. But something isn’t right. No nuggets are forming. It just looks like flour. Slightly damp and a little lumpy flour. So, instinctively, I add a little more water. A spritz here and there. I continue to encourage Maureen to mix the flour, waiting for the dough to take form. But it’s not really happening. And then it occurs to me…32 oz. is not 4 cups of flour!!!! Now I remember that 16 oz. is 4 cups of confectioner’s sugar! What was I thinking? Sugar is not flour and 16 oz. is not 32! But the real question is….how many cups of flour did I put in this bowl?

I decide to compensate for the extra flour…but how much? Maybe it’s an extra cup so I consider that I should add more shortening and a little more water. Now the dough is beginning to form and it’s getting bigger and bigger…beginning to fill the bowl. It starts to look “right” and I hope for the best. Forming the dough into a ball, I place it on the parchment paper and ask Maureen to roll it out to see what happens. It’s working. We are able to make something that looks like a pie crust. Not a good crust, but a crust nevertheless. And we have way more dough than we need for a double crust pie. Since we are both thrifty Yankees, we must not toss it out. We make a batch of crackers with the extra dough, seasoning them with olive oil, garlic and fresh basil from the garden.

In building construction, there is a saying, “Measure twice. Cut once.” Obviously, it also applies to baking! Maureen certainly had a good lesson in the art of pie crust making. She not only learned what to do, she learned what not to do. And she learned how to compensate for mistakes. I shared my story with my Aunt Alice, the baking queen. We also shared a good laugh! She turned to a well-worn and tattered cookbook, its pages stained by years of use. She did some research and found that depending on whether it was sifted or unsifted, 32 oz. of flour is equal to 6 to 8 cups! Oh my, double what I needed! She will never let me forget that one! Lesson learned. Slow down. Think before acting.

We learn lessons from the mistakes we make. Sometimes we learn how to fix those mistakes. Sometimes a mistake yields a special surprise. Sometimes mistakes make us laugh at ourselves. But mostly mistakes make us better, stronger, wiser. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes!

We’ve all made mistakes. I’m sure that you can recall a time when you made a mistake… a mistake that taught you something. Even though it may have been unpleasant, you can recall making a mistake that you learned something valuable from, right? I’d like you to appreciate the fact that mistakes are not only tolerable, but that mistakes are actually desirable, because we learn through making mistakes.

Your imperfect mistakes have been perfect opportunities for a wealth of learnings… an indispensable foundation to build on. So don’t be mistaken about mistakes. What I’d like you to consider is the benefit, of having the courage to be imperfect. If you’re living with the pain or frustration of making a mistake, you can look for the lesson learned. It really is all right to be human… and to make some mistakes…so that you can learn and grow. And so that you can make better pies!



Tags: , ,

Jul 20 2015

Building Bad Brain Cells

Category: ControlPatricia @ 9:05 am

brain cells


You may be aware that you can damage your brain cells over time. Consuming alcohol is one way of doing that. And stress has been shown to damage all the cells of the body. But do you know that you can damage yourself in another way? And you don’t even know when you’re doing it? Do you realize that your brain physically changes based on the focus of your attention? New brain cells grow for the particular activity and purpose you require. Your brain strives to support you in all that you do. In fact, MRI studies have shown that in flute players, the areas of the brain that control the fingers, tongue, and lips are larger than normal. And an accountant’s brain is larger in the part of the brain that controls math ability. Focus increases ability. It’s not just about practice; the brain actually grows in order to do better. We can assume that this is the case with all activity where an individual focuses their time and attention. It’s as if we’ve gone to the brain gym for a workout on specific muscles to make them stronger and better.

This ability to build brain cells is known as brain plasticity or neuroplasticity. It is the biological way the brain responds to its environment by learning the skills and behavior necessary to survive. Over time this pattern of memory, learned behavior and skills becomes an individual’s experience and wisdom. This plasticity diminishes with age, however, it is promoted when we think new thoughts and engage in new activities. We are always learning. This learning forms connections between neurons. Connections that are used repeatedly, especially those formed in childhood, become permanent. Connections that are not used are eliminated. “Use it or Lose it”.

Even if you are not a flute player or an accountant, this information should matter to you. If you focus your attention on an activity, it literally changes your brain and your life experience. If this focus is on a good activity, such as flute playing, it produces positive effects. This focus actually helps you to improve your abilities in experiencing this activity. But, if you’re focused on a negative activity, such as when you vent or complain or criticize, you also grow new brain cells for that purpose. And as time goes by, you get better at it! Who wants to be better at complaining!!!!!

When you have a thought, it may elicit an emotion. Your body will respond with the appropriate hormone. A stressful thought will give you a shot of cortisol. A flash of fear will give you a boost of adrenaline. You will lay down the path between a stimulus and your response. If you focus on the thought, the path will widen. It will become very defined. In the future, when you have a similar thought, it will elicit a similar emotion and a similar physical response. You have successfully trained your brain, developing your angry, fearful muscles. I don’t think you want to be trained to be angry or fearful. That is like going to the gym with a goal to be weak and powerless.

Some people spend their lives focusing on what they don’t like and what they don’t want. They complain of their misery. They think of all the things that are wrong in their lives. They criticize and blame others. And while they are doing that, their brains are beginning to work against them. Connections are being made. Neural pathways are forming. The superhighway of unhappiness is being widened to accommodate more traffic. Bad brain cells are being built one thought at a time. You are the architect of your life. As long as you’re building brain cells, build a bigger, happier brain. Focus your attention on what you want.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Next Page »