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Mothers install our “buttons” and therefore, have a keen ability to know how and when to push them! It doesn’t matter if you are 50, your mom can still hit the button as if you were 5! Mothers are our first teachers. They tell us who we are and build our foundation. They write the beginning to our life story. And we believe every word they say, good and bad. Your mom may tell you that you are brilliant and beautiful, or she may say that you are lazy and worthless. Mothers give us the “truth” of who we are but sometimes it is a lie.

As Mother’s Day approaches, each of us has an opportunity to consider this relationship. We may choose to honor our mother with a special gift or gathering because we truly want to spend time with her. Or we may do it out of guilt feeelings. But we do it, because we all really want to love our mothers.

Like everyone else, I have a complicated relationship with my mom. She’s 87 now and has forgotten most of her life. I wonder if she would remember the dress. Six years ago after she’d suffered a stroke, I found it hanging in her closet when I was clearing out her home. My first reaction was one of disbelief. And then I cried.

In the closet of the guest bedroom, there hung an odd assortment of clothes; heavy winter woolens; Dad’s suits (which were only brought out for weddings and funerals); and a blue linen dress. The dress had been a gift from me to Mom. It was more than 40 years old. It had been so precious to her, that she had kept it all those years. Wow. It was a bittersweet discovery, because I was reminded of that time long ago when I created it. It wasn’t a pleasant memory.

I was 14 years old. I had been taught to sew by my Aunt Evelyn when I was 12. She was a very accomplished seamstress who insisted that the inside of the garment be as perfect as the outside. Seams were to be a uniform 5/8” in width and all were to be finished. No raw edges or fraying seams! Details mattered. I was an avid student and really enjoyed sewing, creating and wearing clothes I had designed. At one point, I was considering learning how to make shoes for the complete outfit!

When I decided to make the dress for Mom, I intended to do an impeccable job. I wanted to make her happy. (A task I came to realize was not only outside of my power, but was also impossible.) We chose a pattern and fabric. I took measurements so that it would be tailor-made. I conferred with Aunt Evelyn. And I diligently and expertly constructed the garment. But then came the fitting. Mom said that I did a shitty job; that I didn’t do it as well as if I were making it for myself; that it wasn’t good enough.

I don’t remember what was wrong with the dress. In my mind’s eye, I can see her standing in front of the mirror and tugging at it and pulling it and accusing me. There are no memories of a “thank you” or “good job” or any acknowledgement of the effort or the gift. I do remember that she wore the dress and it fit her like a glove. So, for 40 years I carried this memory of a dress that wasn’t good enough; another gift that did not please her. And Mom carried the memory of a gift that was so special, the dress was worth holding on to forever. Finding that dress was a priceless gift to me. It was the unsaid “Thank you. I appreciate this beautiful gift. I know you made it for me with love. I love you, dear child.”

I’m preparing my Mother’s Day gift…simple photos of the family to remind her that she is loved. I‘ve kept the blue dress as my reminder of words unspoken, yet expressed. Perhaps we can all learn to speak our love more freely so it won’t be hidden away to gather dust in the closet.

Are you suffering? “Chronic pain is a problem that has reached near epidemic proportions,” said Edward Covington, M.D., director of the Chronic Pain Rehabilitation Program at the Cleveland Clinic. “The ‘can do, can cope’ spirit of Americans can lead to untreated chronic pain, which has a severe impact on people’s work, personal relationships, hobbies, and even sex, and can greatly diminish their quality of life. In addition to physical disability, it may also lead to irritability, anxiety, or depression.”

Do you endure discomfort to the point that it is affecting the way you live your life? Are you sick and tired of conventional methods of pain management? Are you taking pills that aren’t effective? Is your medication creating negative side effects? Are you ready to try something new? Perhaps it is time to consider an integrative approach to healing… a new way based on ancient methods. Are you aware of Hypno-Reiki?

Hypno-Reiki is a combination of two powerful methods of healing, Hypnosis and Reiki. Each method has proven to be effective, but when used together, the modality has great potential. Hypnosis is a deep state of relaxation, or altered state of consciousness created by focused attention. For thousands of years, it has been used as an effective method for relief of physical pain and discomfort. In the hypnotic state, we are open to positive suggestions and imagery which will create change. It is an ideal time to implement other therapeutic modalities, such as Reiki, because our whole system is primed to healing. Reiki, a healing practice originated inJapan, is a non-invasive, gentle modality which translates to “spiritually guided life force energy or universal healing energy”. It helps the body’s natural ability to heal itself though the flow and focusing of energy.

The Center for Disease Control reports in 2002 that 62% ofU.S.adults had used some form of Complementary and Alternative Medicine (CAM), often in conjunction with other alternative and conventional medical treatments. The 2007 National Health Interview Survey, which included a comprehensive survey ofCAMuse by Americans, found that “people use Reiki for relaxation, stress reduction, and symptom relief, in efforts to improve overall health and well-being. Reiki has been used by people with anxiety, chronic pain, HIV/AIDS, and other health conditions, as well as by people recovering from surgery or experiencing side effects from treatments.”

Hypnotherapy can help with the perception of pain, by changing the expectation. In studies about how the human brain and nervous system work, Dr. Kenneth Casey, a professor of neurology at the University of Michigan and a neurology consultant to the VA Health Care System in Ann Arbor states that “the brain has mechanisms to directly control what we feel, it actively controls the flow of sensory information that results in our perceptions.” In fact, key regions of the brain appear to react as much to the expectation of pain as much as they do to actual painful stimulation. The mind can alter the feeling of pain by substituting another feeling such as heat, tingling, numbness. It can also divert the location of pain to another body part, thereby allowing relief.  In a January 5, 2004 article by Benedict Carey, The Los Angeles Times reports “the brain can virtually shut down pain signals when preoccupied.”

At that point, the body’s energy system is aligned with thoughts of health and wellness. The body-mind connection is fully functioning while in the state of hypnosis. The mind doesn’t know the difference between what is imagined and what is perceived as reality. When Reiki is administered to someone in the hypnotic state, the benefits are magnified. The healing power of life force energy is added and the whole body becomes at peace.

Though Reiki may be an unfamiliar term and may sound “new-agey,” the effectiveness of this ancient treatment has been shown. The International Journal of Behavioral Medicine reviewed 66 clinical trials on biofield therapies. It was concluded that there was strong evidence that biofield therapies such as Reiki help reduce the intensity of pain. Julie Kusiak, MA, a Reiki practitioner in the integrative medicine department atBeaumontHospital inRoyal Oak,Michigan, states, “Recent studies on Reiki therapy reflect a broad spectrum of its benefit for pain relief.” Examples cited were decreased anxiety and pain, lower fatigue, reduced depression and better quality of life.

Hypnosis and Reiki create profoundly relaxing effects, which make the combination of Hypno-Reiki even more effective for the treatment of anxiety, stress and pain. Hypno-Reiki complements any other form of medical treatment, as there are no contraindications. There is a long history of both scientific and anecdotal evidence to support the use of behavioral and relaxation approaches to treat chronic pain. The American Hospital Association President and CEO Rich Umbdenstock stated, “Complementary and alternative medicine has shown great promise in supporting and stimulating healing. It’s one of the many tools hospitals look to as they continue to create optimal healing environments for the patients they serve.”

Much research concludes the effectiveness of hypnosis as an alternative method of healing. Scientific American Mind’s (July, 2005) article titled “The Truth and the Hype of Hypnosis” which stated that “hypnosis has been shown to be a real phenomenon with a variety of therapeutic uses- especially in controlling pain.” The article further cites a meta-analysis published by the International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis which found that “the pain relieving effect of hypnosis is often substantial, and in a few cases the degree of relief matches or exceeds that provided by morphine.”

In Biofield Therapies:A Best Evidence Synthesis,a systematic review examined 66 clinical studies and found “equivocal evidence for biofield therapies’ effects on fatigue and quality of life for cancer patients, as well as for comprehensive pain outcomes and affect in pain patients, and for decreasing anxiety in cardiovascular patients”. Currently, there is a peer review method for analyzing the state of scientific studies done on Reiki programs in hospitals and clinics. The process is rigorous, impartial and incorporates the best practices for scientific review. Dr Mehmet Oz is a proponent of Reiki and is often quoted as saying, “Reiki has become a sought-after healing art among patients and mainstream medical professionals.”

According to a 2008 American Hospital Association survey, 84% of hospitals indicated patient demand as the reason for offering Complementary and Alternative Medicine services because of “clinical effectiveness”. Simply stated, it works.

More and more, science tells us that the condition of our body is directly related to our positive thoughts of wellness or our negative thoughts of stress, anxiety and pain. Thoughts are energy. Thoughts create. Your body is a manifestation of the thoughts of your sub-conscious mind. You have the power to change the way you think and to change the way you feel. There is an unlimited supply of “spiritually guided life force energy”  available to you to help create your natural state of being, which is a state of well-being. If you are suffering, you can give yourself permission to let go of the pain. You can change your expectations and move toward a better, more joyful life. Perhaps Hypno-Reiki is the way to do it!

Patricia Lynn Belkowitz, C.Ht., EFT-CC, and Claire Staffa, Reiki Master. Patricia Belkowitz is a clinical Hypnotherapist focusing on health and wellness. Claire Staffa is a certified Reiki Master specializing in balance and harmony. They practice together at Dr. Sharon Norling’s Mind Body Spirit Center in Westlake Village. For more information about Patricia go to www.TheMindMatters.com and to find out about Claire, visit www.HarmoniousReiki.com or log on to www.TheMBSC.com.

Art is a process, not a product. It’s a way to change your perceptions; expand your vision; open up your imagination. Before I become a Hypnotherapist, I was teaching visual arts – drawing, painting, photography, sculpture. Now, I teach the art of living a joyful life. Mindsight is used in both practices.

Recently I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Tony Haynes, an incredible poet and lyricist   (http://www.tonyhaynes.webs.com/). On his radio show, T.H.E.O.R.Y. on KPCRadio.com, we spoke about the creative process and the challenges of allowing time for artistic pursuits while juggling the demands of family and career. Listen in to the show’s archives at http://kpcradio.com/?feed=rss2&cat=931.  

Exhibiting at Ventura Artist Union Erotic Show

In 1986, I wrote the following Thoughts and Considerations on Being an Artist.  I think it applies to the art of life as well. I will make one exception regarding the “string of failures”.  In art or in life, I no longer consider things to be failures. Now, I believe them to be learning experiences that teach me to be better and better each and every day.

Thoughts and Considerations on Being an Artist

It is a need to examine the universe around us and within us, followed by the need to express our feelings about what we perceive.

It is a constant nagging to stop and consider things, offering more questions than answers.

It is a striving for perfection; as we see it or as we want others to see it.

It is a curse as well as a blessing.

It is a string of failures linked to an occasional success. (But, ah, yes… the feeling of that success!)

It is back-breaking work – physical, mental and emotional torture. And it is pure and absolute joy.

It is not something we choose to do, but rather it is something we must do. Without the expression, there is emptiness and frustration.

It is a cross to bear. It is a great gift. It prods us. It pushes us. And finally, it teaches us.

It transcends time. We bring all of our past and present impressions to it – to create it and to experience it. And the art we bring forth will exist beyond our physical time. It has the power to touch the future.

Follow Your Own Path

“If you follow your bliss, your put yourself on a kind of track that has been there the whole while, waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living.” ~Joseph Campbell

Where do you find your “bliss”? Have you lost it? Do you even know where to begin to look? The American Heritage dictionary defines bliss as “extreme happiness; ecstasy or spiritual joy.” Sometimes we lose track of our sense of joy in life. We become burdened by the every day things we have to do and find we have no time to even think about the things we want to do. Life happens and if we’re not paying attention, we can miss the experience.

When you pay attention, you can find your bliss in the moments of the day. Perhaps it begins with sharing a morning cup of coffee with a loved one. Or maybe it happens when you step outside to walk and spend time with your thoughts. Bliss is found in the moment… just as life is lived in the moment. The past and the future exist only in our thoughts. Life exists only in each moment.  If you spend your life worrying about the past or the future… these moments, which are your life, pass you by. When you are mindful of the moments of the day, you give yourself a gift. You receive an opportunity to be aware and to be alive.

When Joseph Campbell speaks about “the life you ought to be living”, he reminds us that it is our mission and our purpose to be the very best self we can be. That’s it. Steve Jobs reiterated it when he said “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” Each one of us has a unique perspective on the world. If we take the time to really develop our gifts and talents and live a life of joy, we have a positive effect on every one who comes in contact with us. We follow our bliss and the world is a better place.

Today, I invite you to take a look around your life to find your bliss. It’s waiting for you. Pick up your unfinished dreams. Dust off your unfulfilled adventures. Sort through your past fantasies. Uncover the possibilities. Following your bliss is a choice you can make…each and every moment of your life!

Are you using both of your minds to your full advantage? Remember the 88% subconscious mind rules the 12% conscious mind. You have the power to set yourself free from whatever you believe is limiting your success.

“Under hypnosis, you’re more open than usual to suggestions, and this can be used to modify your perceptions, behavior, sensations and emotions. Therapeutic hypnosis is used to improve your health and well-being and is different from so-called stage hypnosis used by entertainers. Although you’re more open to suggestion during therapeutic hypnosis, your free will remains intact and you don’t lose control over your behavior. “

“Hypnosis is intended to help you gain more control over undesired behaviors or emotions or to help you cope better with a wide range of medical conditions. Hypnosis isn’t considered a treatment or a type of psychotherapy. Rather, it’s a procedure typically used along with certain treatments and therapies to help a wide variety of conditions.”

“Hypnosis may help you cope better with certain medical conditions, stop unwanted habits or reduce stress related to medical procedures. The effects of hypnosis can be long lasting and can improve your overall quality of life.”

Ref… http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hypnosis/MY01020

Happy NOW Year!  A NOW Year is a lot different than a New Year. You can begin it and celebrate it again and again…every moment of the day. There is an old saying, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”  NOW is the moment of your life.  If you made a New Year’s resolution to start or stop doing something or to do something in a different way, and you haven’t been successful yet, it’s okay. You get to start again NOW. When you are present in the NOW, you OWN it. You’ve WON!

“The Mind Matters”

T hrough Energy Psychology

H eightened awareness will shatter

E very illusion and you’ll see The Mind Matters

M y goal & objective

I s for you to be inclined

N ow in this moment to ease your pressure & strife

D oing it through a process I call, “Choose Your Thoughts. Choose Your Life.”

M y Manifestation Manual

A nd the modalities I combine

T herapeutically facilitate

T he freedom to free your mind

E motionally and not by osmosis

R e-aligning you through hypnosis

S o on a cellular & spiritual level all negativity scatters…

 …Even in the divine, The Mind Matters

 By Tony Haynes For Patricia

Your health is the sum total of all the impulses, positive and negative, emanating from your consciousness. You are what you think.”    ~ Deepak Chopra

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
~ Steve Jobs

Friendship is sunshine for the soul.

“The great lesson from the true mystics…is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found in one’s daily life, in one’s neighbors, friends, and family, in one’s back yard.”

 ~ Abraham Maslow

Scientific American Mind’s November issue cites a University of Toronto study last year where, “people who were unconsciously exposed to images of fast food logos became more impatient and less likely to be thrifty”. In another study, published in the March issue of the Journal of Psychosomatic Research, when participants recalled an illness-related memory, they were less able to tolerate pain.

Your subconscious mind is constantly picking up on subliminal cues. You do not have to be at the mercy of these unconscious culprits! When you recognize the phenomenon, you can take control.  More self-awareness is a simple way to outmaneuver it. Take control of your thoughts. Choose to give yourself a treat! Think about what makes you feel good. Live your life by choice, not by chance.

What are you telling yourself? Pay attention to your thoughts and how they affect your body. If it doesn’t feel good, choose another thought.

Think about what you want. Think only in terms of the positive. It is far more powerful to be in favor of something positive rather than to be against something negative. Be “for” peace instead of “against” violence. Be “for” prosperity instead of “against” lack.

2. Praise Yourself

Eliminate negative self-talk! Appreciate your talents and gifts. Acknowledge your skills and abilities; your strengths and positive attributes. Treat yourself with the same loving respect you give to others. Love and accept yourself as you are right now.

Appreciate your body and how it serves you. Daydream and imagine yourself as the ideal…physically, emotionally, mentally. If you can see it, you can be it. The mind doesn’t know the difference between what you imagine and what you perceive as reality.

When you see yourself as healthy and successful, your mind becomes comfortable with it. Your confidence is boosted and you are able to achieve your goals.

3. Practice Gratitude

Note five things every night that you are grateful for. The essence of all you appreciate is constantly flowing into your reality. “This. I want more of this.”

Grateful people report higher levels of positive emotions, vitality and life satisfaction and lower levels of depression and stress. They tend to exercise more and feel better physically.

Robert Emmons, a psych professor at UC Davis found that a 21-day gratitude intervention produced high energy, positive moods, greater sense of feeling connected, more optimistic ratings of one’s life and better sleep duration and quality.

4. Focus on the solution, not the problem.

Einstein said that all of his most important and productive thinking was done by “combinatory play” with “images” in his mind. Thought experiments. Ask a question, Visualize a situation and perform experimental action.

Whatever you are thinking about is literally planning for the future. When you are worrying and doubtful, you are planning for and attracting something you don’t want. Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what is thought about. Choose the good thoughts.

5. Be present in the Now.

Stay focused on the present moment. Life begins now. Life is happening right now. If you are thinking about the past, you are thinking about it now. If you are thinking about the future, you are thinking about it now. The past and future exist in our thoughts.
Life exists in the moment.

Life is a series of moments. Each and every moment is an opportunity for choice.Focus on what you can do today, right now.
Breathe. All is well.

but that you live the reality of what you expect.

What are you expecting?

Remember that the future only exists in your thoughts. We are making it up as we go. We tell ourselves a story about what might happen. Sometimes it’s a good story and we feel good. When we allow ourselves to imagine and experience a positive expectation, we benefit from those thoughts. We are more prepared and at ease in new situations.

Sometimes we tell ourselves a very bad story which makes us feel out of control. We experience fear and anxiety about things which don’t even exist! When you’re worrying about the future, you are literally planning for things you don’t want to happen. All the time and energy you spend in this negative emotional state is working against you. You are literally creating your worst fears. And your physical body is suffering from those thoughts!

Why not spend your time and energy focusing on your desires instead of your fears? Imagine the best case scenario. Focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want! Just that shift in thinking will make a difference about how you feel and how you react. In that moment, you actively take part in the creation of your life. You take control of the situation.

Laughter improves the mind and spirit. If we can laugh at our troubles, we can create positive biochemical changes in our body which will help reduce feelings of depression or helplessness. When we laugh, we breathe more deeply, which fills our body with oxygen and improves our immune system. Our blood pressure decreases and endorphins and other natural pain-relieving hormones are released. We create a better state of mind and when we are in a better state of mind, we are able to think more calmly and clearly. Our entire body relaxes.

In stressful situations, our body suffers. Constant stress robs us of our sense of humor. It takes the fun out of life! When we are children, we laugh on average about 400 times in a 24 hour period. As adults, we only laugh about 17 times a day! What a tragedy!

A good laugh bursts forth from the soul.

You can bring more laughter into your life. Collect books and movies that are funny and the next time you’re feeling down, bring them out and laugh. Choose to surround yourself with happy and positive people. Be more playful in your daily activities. Give yourself some “laughter therapy” whenever you’re feeling down.

As Oscar Wilde said, “Life is too important to be taken seriously!”

In my practice as a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I encourage my clients to lighten up. We focus on the positive aspects and the solutions which brings a sense of peace. Being able to laugh at yourself is an important step on the way to enlightenment…a state of acceptance and love for your true authentic self…including that part of yourself that laughs so hard, milk comes out your nose!