“The Mind Matters”

T hrough Energy Psychology

H eightened awareness will shatter

E very illusion and you’ll see The Mind Matters

M y goal & objective

I s for you to be inclined

N ow in this moment to ease your pressure & strife

D oing it through a process I call, “Choose Your Thoughts. Choose Your Life.”

M y Manifestation Manual

A nd the modalities I combine

T herapeutically facilitate

T he freedom to free your mind

E motionally and not by osmosis

R e-aligning you through hypnosis

S o on a cellular & spiritual level all negativity scatters…

 …Even in the divine, The Mind Matters

 By Tony Haynes For Patricia

Your health is the sum total of all the impulses, positive and negative, emanating from your consciousness. You are what you think.”    ~ Deepak Chopra

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
~ Steve Jobs

Friendship is sunshine for the soul.

“The great lesson from the true mystics…is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found in one’s daily life, in one’s neighbors, friends, and family, in one’s back yard.”

 ~ Abraham Maslow

Scientific American Mind’s November issue cites a University of Toronto study last year where, “people who were unconsciously exposed to images of fast food logos became more impatient and less likely to be thrifty”. In another study, published in the March issue of the Journal of Psychosomatic Research, when participants recalled an illness-related memory, they were less able to tolerate pain.

Your subconscious mind is constantly picking up on subliminal cues. You do not have to be at the mercy of these unconscious culprits! When you recognize the phenomenon, you can take control.  More self-awareness is a simple way to outmaneuver it. Take control of your thoughts. Choose to give yourself a treat! Think about what makes you feel good. Live your life by choice, not by chance.

What are you telling yourself? Pay attention to your thoughts and how they affect your body. If it doesn’t feel good, choose another thought.

Think about what you want. Think only in terms of the positive. It is far more powerful to be in favor of something positive rather than to be against something negative. Be “for” peace instead of “against” violence. Be “for” prosperity instead of “against” lack.

2. Praise Yourself

Eliminate negative self-talk! Appreciate your talents and gifts. Acknowledge your skills and abilities; your strengths and positive attributes. Treat yourself with the same loving respect you give to others. Love and accept yourself as you are right now.

Appreciate your body and how it serves you. Daydream and imagine yourself as the ideal…physically, emotionally, mentally. If you can see it, you can be it. The mind doesn’t know the difference between what you imagine and what you perceive as reality.

When you see yourself as healthy and successful, your mind becomes comfortable with it. Your confidence is boosted and you are able to achieve your goals.

3. Practice Gratitude

Note five things every night that you are grateful for. The essence of all you appreciate is constantly flowing into your reality. “This. I want more of this.”

Grateful people report higher levels of positive emotions, vitality and life satisfaction and lower levels of depression and stress. They tend to exercise more and feel better physically.

Robert Emmons, a psych professor at UC Davis found that a 21-day gratitude intervention produced high energy, positive moods, greater sense of feeling connected, more optimistic ratings of one’s life and better sleep duration and quality.

4. Focus on the solution, not the problem.

Einstein said that all of his most important and productive thinking was done by “combinatory play” with “images” in his mind. Thought experiments. Ask a question, Visualize a situation and perform experimental action.

Whatever you are thinking about is literally planning for the future. When you are worrying and doubtful, you are planning for and attracting something you don’t want. Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what is thought about. Choose the good thoughts.

5. Be present in the Now.

Stay focused on the present moment. Life begins now. Life is happening right now. If you are thinking about the past, you are thinking about it now. If you are thinking about the future, you are thinking about it now. The past and future exist in our thoughts.
Life exists in the moment.

Life is a series of moments. Each and every moment is an opportunity for choice.Focus on what you can do today, right now.
Breathe. All is well.

but that you live the reality of what you expect.

What are you expecting?

Remember that the future only exists in your thoughts. We are making it up as we go. We tell ourselves a story about what might happen. Sometimes it’s a good story and we feel good. When we allow ourselves to imagine and experience a positive expectation, we benefit from those thoughts. We are more prepared and at ease in new situations.

Sometimes we tell ourselves a very bad story which makes us feel out of control. We experience fear and anxiety about things which don’t even exist! When you’re worrying about the future, you are literally planning for things you don’t want to happen. All the time and energy you spend in this negative emotional state is working against you. You are literally creating your worst fears. And your physical body is suffering from those thoughts!

Why not spend your time and energy focusing on your desires instead of your fears? Imagine the best case scenario. Focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want! Just that shift in thinking will make a difference about how you feel and how you react. In that moment, you actively take part in the creation of your life. You take control of the situation.

Laughter improves the mind and spirit. If we can laugh at our troubles, we can create positive biochemical changes in our body which will help reduce feelings of depression or helplessness. When we laugh, we breathe more deeply, which fills our body with oxygen and improves our immune system. Our blood pressure decreases and endorphins and other natural pain-relieving hormones are released. We create a better state of mind and when we are in a better state of mind, we are able to think more calmly and clearly. Our entire body relaxes.

In stressful situations, our body suffers. Constant stress robs us of our sense of humor. It takes the fun out of life! When we are children, we laugh on average about 400 times in a 24 hour period. As adults, we only laugh about 17 times a day! What a tragedy!

A good laugh bursts forth from the soul.

You can bring more laughter into your life. Collect books and movies that are funny and the next time you’re feeling down, bring them out and laugh. Choose to surround yourself with happy and positive people. Be more playful in your daily activities. Give yourself some “laughter therapy” whenever you’re feeling down.

As Oscar Wilde said, “Life is too important to be taken seriously!”

In my practice as a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I encourage my clients to lighten up. We focus on the positive aspects and the solutions which brings a sense of peace. Being able to laugh at yourself is an important step on the way to enlightenment…a state of acceptance and love for your true authentic self…including that part of yourself that laughs so hard, milk comes out your nose!

Take Time to Smell the Roses

If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.”

~ Robert F. Bennett

Are you aware of an even better system of keeping yourself going in the right direction? It’s factory-installed with every unit and it’s absolutely free of charge! You have a personal and powerful Emotional Guidance System (EGS). To access the system, all you need do is pay attention to what you are thinking and how you are feeling. If you pay attention to your emotions, you will always know if you are traveling on the right road.

EGS sends you down the right road.

Your “home” or your “natural” state of being, is a condition of well-being and joy. Consider a baby. Whether a human baby, a puppy, a kitten…all exhibit a state of ecstatic joy. When you are thinking thoughts which bring about the feeling of joy, you are traveling on the right road. Your EGS is pointing you to exactly where you want to go! You are happily in alignment with who you are. Of course, it’s not always possible to be thinking joyful thoughts every moment of the day! Life happens. But your awareness will allow you to make the conscious shift to a better thought. It’s a choice you can make.

There are really no “good” or “bad” emotions. All emotions serve a purpose. All emotions are valuable because they are an expression of you. Honor your emotions. When you try to ignore or swallow your emotions, your EGS will send out an alarm! A distress signal of nausea or headache. Even the “bad” emotions, such as anger, serve a purpose and are to be recognized and then let go. When you’re thinking the thoughts that are creating the feelings of anger, you may not be able to just “let go”.  Again, it’s a choice you can make. Be aware of the thoughts which are creating the emotions. Choose a different thought.

Your EGS can direct your thoughts to a higher state. What if you took a turn towards disappointment instead of anger? That feels better. Perhaps your anger is really because someone acted in a way other than you expected. You feel doubtful and hurt. And then maybe your EGS would help you to consider that the disappointment was triggered by boredom. Are you angry because your plans have been changed? And you have nothing to do? Boredom doesn’t feel as “bad” as anger, does it? And you have control over your own boredom, don’t you? Maybe if you recognized that you were bored, your EGS would tell you to go entertain yourself. If you thought about entertaining yourself, you would turn directly to enthusiasm, which would feel really “good”. And once you were feeling that enthusiasm, you could consider what activity would bring you joy.

Your journey from anger to joy doesn’t have to take a long time. You can avoid the traffic jams. The only roadblocks are the ones you create. Your EGS will show them to you by making you feel “bad”.  And it will direct you around the barriers by pointing the way to feel “good”. It helps you to find the way when you don’t know how to get to where you want to go. You can always find your way home…to your state of ecstatic joy!

A few weeks ago, I lost one of my dearest friends and most trusted advisors. His death was sudden and very unexpected. A reminder that there is a thin veil between life and death; a moment of being “here” and then being “gone”.

My friend would not want me to suffer his loss. Oh yes, he would expect me to cry and mourn his passing. But he would also expect me to know that he is well; that he is at peace; that he has gone home. My tears are not for him. They are for me.

I threw myself a pity party and allowed myself to wallow in my grief and sadness. I realized that every time I felt my loss, I also felt my joy. In order for me to feel this loss, I also had to feel the love that created it. And in feeling the love, I was healed of the sadness.

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ” ~Kahlil Gibran

Mark was my “empathologist”.  A reference from a silly Woody Allen movie, it became the way he was listed in my phone book. We enjoyed amusing each other with the silly as well as the profound. The thesaurus lists “empathize” as “the ability to identify with, sympathize with, understand, share the feelings of, be in tune with; be on the same wavelength as, talk the same language as; relate to, feel for, have insight into.” Wow, I was lucky to have him! And I realize that I still “have” him.  Whenever I think of him, he is with me. For every inhale of “what shall I do without him?” there is a sigh of “you will do”.  I take strength in all that I learned from him. He was very generous with his wisdom and I plan to honor him by becoming the best “empathologist” I can be.

“What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.”  Albert Pike

Each life is a precious gift. Take the time to celebrate your life and your loved ones.

We all have our own unique beliefs. Unfortunately, some of our beliefs are false. They are the result of negative thoughts. We become attached to these negative thoughts each time we repeat them. Sometimes, we even embellish them to make ourselves feel worse!

You may hold the negative belief that you have no control over your life. But that is a false belief. You always have control over what you are thinking. Your thoughts may come and go in a constant stream of consciousness, but you make the choice about what thought to focus upon.

If something in your life needs healing – your physical health, your financial wealth – perhaps you have focused your thoughts upon lack.  Lack of money, lack of health, lack of happiness. How about if you begin to focus your thoughts on well-being instead of sickness? Fitness instead of “feeling fat”? How about thinking about prosperity instead of poverty? It is far more powerful to be “for” something than to be “against” something.

When you change the way you think about things, the things you think about will change. When you change your thoughts, you change your beliefs. When your beliefs change, you invite new experiences into your life. A new way of being begins and healing happens.

When you are experiencing a problem or difficulty or challenge, the most productive thing you can do is to let go of the focus on that problem. Instead, focus on the solution. Think about it often. Think about it as if it has happened. Your thoughts are powerful. Your thoughts create. As you become more familiar with the solution and more aligned with it, you bring forth the resources to create it. Your thoughts create your beliefs. Your beliefs create your experiences.

I know and believe that 2011 will be a prosperous and joyful year. What do you choose to believe?

A Time To Believe

To believe is to know that every day is a new beginning. To believe is to trust that miracles happen, and dreams really do come true.

To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds, to know the wonder of a stardust sky and the wisdom of the man in the moon.

To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart, the innocence of a child’s eyes, and the beauty of an aging hand, for it is through their teachings we learn to love.

To believe is to find the strength and courage that lies within us,
when it’s time to pick up the pieces and begin again.

To believe is to know we are not alone,
That life is a gift
and this is our time to cherish it.

To believe is to know that wonderful surprises are just waiting to happen,
And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.

If only we believe.

                                                                                      by B.J. Morbitzer

In September, I was introduced to an event called “Thrill the World”. It is a worldwide record attempt to simultaneously dance a five minute version of Michael Jackson’s Thriller. The event is used to raise funds for charity. Being a fan of Halloween, dressing up in scary zombie costumes and dancing, I was “in”.  I joined a class of zombies who would perform in Santa Barbara. And then I began to gather others to dance for my favorite charity OwieBowWowie and Friends.

Learning the dance required attending a few classes and practicing, practicing, practicing with videos…literally one step at a time. I now truly appreciate the efforts of the contestants on Dancing with the Stars! Even though there are a lot of repeat steps, the order changes and it’s a five minute dance. It requires some re-wiring and muscle memory and conscious memory. It requires teaching an old dog new tricks. Did I mention practicing?

Zombie Roar

Gathering the materials to create a costume was another step along the way. A visit to a thrift store for the perfect dress, something stylish and worthy of being buried in, yet comfortable enough for dancing. And then the process of enhancing it with a knife, coffee grounds, hair dye and baby powder to aid in the zombification of the outfit.  Add beads, makeup and fake skin and I was good to go!

On October 23 at 4:00 PT, we danced and we laughed and we raised a few dollars and declared it all good. And next year we will do it bigger and better. And we will give others the opportunity to take on something new and challenging.

Thrill the World OwieBowWowie Dancers

Since I had the costume, I knew the steps and I can’t get the music out of my head, I just had to dance some more. On Saturday, I joined with a flash mob of Santa Barbara zombies and I danced and I danced and I danced. And because I took that first step, I was able to enjoy the end of the journey.

When was the last time you set a goal to do something out of the ordinary? Maybe something just for fun? Or maybe something outside of your comfort zone? A challenge?

How about learning to “booty bounce”? There’s time to take that step before next Halloween!

To stay young and healthy, how often is sex recommended?

A.    Once a week

B.    Twice a week

C.    10 times a month

D.    200 or more times a year (about 4 x week)

Dr. Mehmet Oz, co-author of the “You” series health guides for body mind and soul and Oprah’s go-to health guy, states that if you have 200 orgasms a year, you can reduce your physiologic age by six years.

Dr. Michael Roizen, author of RealAge — Are You as Young as You Can Be?, states that “Having sex at least twice a week can make your RealAge 1.6 years younger than if you had sex only once a week.” He defines ‘real age’ as “an estimation of your age in biologic terms, not chronologic years.”

Roizen believes that sex keeps us younger because it “decreases stress, relaxes us, enhances intimacy, and helps … personal relationships.”

Although no study has yet proven a cause-and-effect relationship between good sex and longevity, there seems to be a beneficial system at work here — a sort of virtuous cycle of sex and health reinforcing one another.

One of the first long term studies of aging begun at Duke University in the ’50s and reported in the December 1982 journal Gerontologist found that the frequency of sexual intercourse (for men) and the enjoyment of sex (for women) predicted longevity.

A study done in Wales, and published in the December 1997 British Medical Journal under the title, “Sex and Death: Are They Related?” found over ten years of follow up, that men who reported at least two orgasms a week at the time of the study had less than half the risk of dying from various causes than those who reported a lower frequency of orgasm.

Other studies have found that sexual dissatisfaction was a predictor of the onset of cardiovascular disease. A study published in the November-December 1976 journal Psychosomatic Medicine compared 100 women with heart disease (acute myocardial infarction) with a control group and found sexual dissatisfaction among 65% of the coronary patients but only 24% of the controls.

In a long-term study published as Secrets of the Superyoung, Dr. David Weeks, of the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland, found that “the key ingredients for looking younger are staying active … and maintaining a good sex life.” In a study of 3,500 people, ages 30 to 101, Weeks found that “sex helps you look between four and seven years younger,” according to impartial ratings of the subjects’ photos. Dr. Weeks, a clinical neuropsychologist, attributed this to significant reductions in stress, greater contentment, and better sleep.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
~Swami X

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
~Woody Allen

Sex Reduces Pain

Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level. This releases an increase in endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headache to arthritis to even migraines. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain of PMS. Just thinking about sex can help to reduce pain.

Sex Improves Intimacy

Speaking of oxytocin, this so-called “love” hormone helps us to bond, trust and build intimate relationships. Higher levels of oxytocin have also been linked to a feeling of generosity.

Sex Helps You Sleep Better

The release of oxytocin during orgasm promotes sleep. Getting enough sleep helps to maintain a healthy weight and blood pressure.

Sex Burns Calories and Keeps You Fit

Sex is a great way to exercise. A vigorous session may burn some 200 calories–about the same as running 15 minutes on a treadmill. 40 half-hour sessions could burn off more than enough calories to lose a pound. The pulse rate or an aroused person rises from about 70 beats per minute to 150, the same as that of an athlete at maximum effort. Muscular contractions during intercourse work the pelvis, thighs, buttocks, arms, neck and thorax.

Another fitness benefit of sex is that it can keep you in constant awareness of your body image. If you are continually being naked in front of another person, it’s a good incentive to stay in shape.

 Men’s Health magazine has gone so far as to call the bed the single greatest piece of exercise equipment ever invented.

Sex Boosts Immunity

Good sexual health could mean better physical health. Wilkes University in Pennsylvania says individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30% higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which is known to boost the immune system, protecting you from colds and other infections.

Sex Relieves Stress

Biological Psychology reports that frequent intercourse was associated with lower diastolic blood pressure and overall stress reduction. A study of 24 women and 22 men noted that those who had intercourse had better responses to stressful situations than those who abstained from sex. They performed better at such tasks as speaking in public and doing verbal arithmetic.

Sex Improves Cardiovascular Health

Researchers in England recently published a study of 914 men who were followed for 20 years. They found that compared with those who had sex less than once a month, those having sex twice or more per week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack or stroke by 50%.

Sex makes for a Happier Prostate

Some urologists believe they see a relationship between infrequency of ejaculation and cancer of the prostate.

A study recently published by the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in their 20s can reduce by a third their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week. Another study, reported in the Journal of the American Medical Assn., found that frequent ejaculations, 21 or more per month, (252/year) were linked to lower prostate cancer.

Sex is a Beauty Treatment & Fountain of Youth

In a study at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland, a panel of judges guessed participant’s ages. Those who looked seven to 12 years younger than their age were also enjoying sex at least four times a week, on average.

Sex raises a woman’s estrogen level, which helps make hair shiny and skin supple.

Sex also boosts production of testosterone, which leads to stronger bones and muscles.

Having at least two orgasms a week can increase your life span. Every time you orgasm, the hormone DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) increases in response to sexual excitement. DHEA can boost your immune system, repair tissue, improve cognition, and even work as an antidepressant.

Sex helps your sense of smell. After sex, production of the hormone prolactin surges. This in turn causes stem cells in the brain to develop new neurons in the brain’s olfactory bulb, its smell center.

Sex gives you better bladder control. Pelvic floor muscle exercises known as Kegels offer the benefit of minimizing the risk of incontinence. Strong muscles increase the intensity of orgasms.

Sex Improves Your Teeth (special delivery system for women). Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium and other minerals shown to retard tooth decay. It could be a far more satisfying experience than squeezing a tube of Tartar Control Crest. Researchers have noted that etiquette usually demands the brushing of one’s teeth before and/or after intimacy, which helps promote better oral hygiene.”

Sex can enhance your sense of spirituality.

Many ancient traditions and cultures view sexuality as something sacred and spiritual. Sexual energy is unlike any other.  When we merge with this power during orgasm, we are connecting to our non-physical aspects. Why do you think we cry out, “Oh God!”? According to the Taoists, since we are conceived through orgasm and orgasmic energy permeates every cell of our body, we need to feel this orgasmic energy regularly – ideally every day – to stay healthy.

Marcus Aurelius believed happiness was to be achieved by living “according to nature” in harmony with the principle which orders the universe. A Roman emperor and philosopher who composed bits of wisdom in a work called Meditations, he believed that the serenity of someone who lived in the present moment could not be affected by misfortunes of the past or the fear of the future. 

Have you considered this? When you’re thinking about the past, you’re thinking about it now. When you’re thinking about the future, you’re thinking about it now. There is only the now.

Your thoughts are a constant stream of consciousness. They exist in the moment. And you are in control of your thoughts…in the moment. When you think about things in the past that disturb you, you create the same vibrational energy that you felt during that time in the past. Law of Attraction responds to your vibrational thought energy right now. The Universe responds to your focus and how you are feeling about it. Do you want to re-create past problems?

You get what you’re thinking about. When you think about things in the past that make you happy, you get the benefit of re-creating that vibrational energy now. When you’re thinking the happy thoughts in the present, it insures that you will be receiving more happy thoughts in the future! 

“The only way to deal with the future is to function efficiently in the now.” ~ Gina Bellin