Patricia Lynn Belkowitz, M.Msc., C.Ht., EFT

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Recently, I read this bit of wisdom. “Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.” We could all use that thought as a guideline to approach the task of freeing ourselves from troublesome people or unwanted things. As summer comes to an end we may think about doing a little fall cleaning. It’s time to get rid of what we don’t need any more and to make room for what we will need in the coming season.

On the physical level, in order to make room for what we will want and need in the future, we need to prepare now. We need to rid ourselves of the past in order to move into the future. There is no need to bring our baggage along. The next time you are at home and have the presence to be aware, look around you and consider the physical area nearby. Are you surrounded by things you no long need or want? Maybe you’re stepping over things which no longer serve a purpose. Is your closet full of clothes that don’t fit you or look out of style? Or maybe there are garments that are more tattered and worn than a charity will accept. Is your home a storehouse of outdated gadgets and regretful purchases? Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I won’t ask you to justify your beautiful clutter or untidy mess, but otherwise, why are you keeping things that are not useful or joyful?

On the emotional/mental level, we need to get rid of any thoughts or feelings from the past that are no longer useful, or beautiful or joyful. In order to have what we want right now and in the future, we must let go. Again become aware. Look within to consider the thoughts and emotions nearby. Are you surrounded by ideas and beliefs that no longer serve you? Are your beliefs about success or failure creating more harm than good? Are you harboring thoughts that make you feel as if you don’t fit in or that you are worthless? Are you living with habits you regret beginning? Do you regret the consequences of actions you’ve taken? Have you forgotten how joyful life is? Do you know how beautiful you are?

Your outside clutter is connected to your inside clutter. The invisible thoughts and emotions become visible things and experiences. Maybe your closet is full of nothing to wear, because you don’t think you deserve new things or you live with poverty consciousness. Maybe your clothes don’t fit because you’ve been feeding your emotions or swallowing your pride. Negative feelings weigh us down. If there are unread books lying about, read them! And then pass them on. You have already gained the knowledge and entertainment. There is no need to hold on to the physical reminder of the experience.

You might tell yourself that you don’t have the time to go through all the stuff. You don’t have time to process your emotions or really get in touch with your feelings. It’s difficult. You tell yourself you’ll get to it one of these days when you have extra time. (There is no extra time. Everyone gets 24 hours to spend each day. How you choose to spend those 24 hours is entirely up to you. You will never get 25.) If the stuff has been sitting around in a pile for years, you can be very confident that you do not need it. And you do not need to go through it just in case there is something precious there. It’s not precious! If it was precious, you would have been aware that you were missing it. You would have treated it with respect and reverence. It is not precious. Get rid of it. Get rid of all of it. If you’re living with a relationship that is not working and you don’t care to spend the time and effort to make it good, it must not matter to you. It is not precious or joyful or beautiful. Perhaps you should get rid of it. Or consider why you think it is useful.

Holding on is holding on. Doesn’t matter what it is…old clothes, unread books, broken gadgets or harmful relationships. Let go of the clutter. Hold on to the useful things and let the other stuff go. Leave more space in your life for the beautiful and joyful. Be free.