Patricia Lynn Belkowitz, M.Msc., C.Ht., EFT

 

Birthday+Cake+-+lots+of+candles

 

Birthdays can bring on a variety of emotions. We all have memories of good ones and bad ones. Regardless of past experiences, a birthday is your own special holiday…the first day of a 365 day journey around the sun. You do, however, share your birthday with others. In fact, Google reports that “if your birthday is any day except February 29, you share your birthday with approximately 1/365 of any population or an estimated 19 million people around the world”. But of course, you don’t know most of them. The day belongs to you. That is…if you give your self permission to celebrate you…and to celebrate the completion of your journey around the sun. Often that is a difficult thing to do. We deny ourselves permission because we believe other things are more important. Things outside ourselves.

I believe that a birthday should be recognized with fun. That doesn’t mean that you have to have a party and celebrate with others. Although great fun, that celebration is also outside of you. Whether with myself or others, I take time to go within and reflect on this journey. I like to consider where I’ve been and where I’m going. It’s kind of like a personal New Year’s Day. Regardless of the outside number, a common ritual of most birthday celebrations is to blow out the candles on the cake. We go within. We make a secret wish for the coming year.

As beings in society we need a way to organize time. A birthday is a way to measure time. It places us in the position where we are in the world. It signifies where we “should” be. As youngsters, we are measured for size and developmental abilities. Our social skills are judged and measured by others. We’re told to “act our age”. We’re told to “grow up”. We’re told to “stop acting like a child”.  If you’re six years old, you are a child! Age is a societal barometer. It restricts us. We are not allowed to vote, drink, or marry until we have reached a certain age. It is all based on a number. An outside number. It is not a reflection of inner skills or emotional maturity or civic knowledge.  We are considered “under age”, “too young”, “too old” and “over the hill”. We are part of generations which are defined by age. Baby Boomers. Generation X. Millennials. This is also outside of you. When you go within… you are eternal. Timeless.

Have you ever considered this question first asked by Satchel Paige? “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was”? Maybe you’d like to be younger? Or would you like to add a few years? Maybe there is an age that you’ve experienced and you feel as if you’ve never aged since then. Or maybe you have always been you…no matter what the outside number. Life is more about how you feel on the inside than it is about the outside number. Look around. Everyone is living individual lives and individual perceptions about the way things are. If you believe you are limited in your choices because you have not lived the required amount of years or because you have lived longer, then your beliefs will create limited choices. It has nothing to do with age. It has to do with you. The inner you.

Society tells us that we should enter college at 18. What if we aren’t interested until we are 33? If you believe that at the age of 65, you are officially old and retired from life, you will be. Do not regret an upcoming birthday. Do not regret growing. Old age is a privilege that is denied to many people. Celebrate yourself! Your age is just an outside number. Mark Twain reminded us that “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.”  Go within and listen to what really matters. May all your wishes come true!