Patricia Lynn Belkowitz, M.Msc., C.Ht., EFT

 

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You are so much more than you. You are more than the small self who feels separate from the world. You are more than your ego, your self-esteem and self-importance. Your ego, or your personality, is merely an experience that your soul is having. Your ego serves an important function as a learning tool for you. It helps you get what you think you need from the world. It helps to prevent you from losing what you have. Ego is fueled by separation which leads to feelings of comparison, competition and judgment. Ego is fueled by fear. It feels threatened by others. It is frightened by things it doesn’t understand because it has not experienced those things. Ego is based on limited and limiting beliefs. It feels judged because it judges. Judgment leads to suffering.

Because you are so much more than your ego experience, you have access to a different perspective. When we identify with the small self, we sometimes forget that we have access to our soul’s wisdom. The Soul, in contrast to the Ego, is rooted in love and a sense of well-being. Soul is timeless and eternal. Because of this, Soul is resilient and capable. It is able to see the bigger picture and react in a way that is beneficial to your ego’s life experience.

How do you know if it is your ego or your soul who is chattering in your head? Remember the chatter of Ego is based on subconscious beliefs and programming of the personality. The message of Soul is Love. The simple test is this…is your thought based on fear or love? Fear may show up as envy, greed, anger, disappointment, pride or judgment. Love comes in the form of compassion, charity, forgiveness, acceptance.

Ego often shows up when we are in relationship with another. Comparison rears its ugly head. Ego judges others based on what it deems to be “right”. Ego says, “Mary is behaving badly. I don’t like the way she behaves. It is different than the way I behave.” Soul knows, “Mary is experiencing what she needs to experience in order to evolve on her journey.”  Friendships are a state of mutual trust and support. Ego can destroy that when judgment happens. Elbert Hubbard tells us, “A friend is one who knows you as you are. Understands where you’ve been. Accepts who you have become. And still, gently, allows you to grow.”  Consider this when you are confronted by your feelings towards a friend or a loved one. Is your relationship one that judges or accepts? Are you looking at another with the eyes of Ego? Or are you embracing another with the loving acceptance of Soul?

Ego compares to make itself feel bigger or more powerful. It is afraid that someone else will have more. Ego competes. Ego says, “Joe lives in a small house. He doesn’t have as much money as I do. I have a big house. I am more successful than Joe. I am better than Joe.” Soul knows, “Outside circumstances are a reflection of inner focus.  My attention is focused on things that are different than the things Joe focuses upon. I manifest what I want and what I need to experience.”

Unfortunately, when Ego compares, it can also make itself feel less worthy. Because it is based on fear, Ego is fragile and easily hurt. Ego says, “Mary is slender and attractive. I weigh more than Mary. No one will love me because I’m too fat. I’m not good enough.” Soul knows, “My body is merely an experience which helps me to understand my emotions in the physical state of being.”

Wayne Dwyer says that EGO is an acronym for “Edging God Out”.  As Ego, we separate ourselves from the source of our power. Our limited point of view personality takes over and we may make life decisions based on fear, rather than love. And then those decisions can create suffering. Michael Bovenes tells us that, “Your soul desires to be understanding. Your ego is only concerned with being understood. When you are being understanding, you are connected to your soul.” Soul knows that we are all one in Spirit. Soul knows that each one of us is a reflection of the other. We choose our relationships because of that reflection…our darkness as well as our light.  We are drawn to those who think the way we think. We are comfortable around those who act the way we act. And when we become uncomfortable, rather than retreat from the relationship, we can recognize that as an opportunity to grow. Each life experience, each personality, adds to the great mosaic of all that is. On our individual Soul’s journey, we travel with the others. We teach. We learn. And we all become better, stronger, wiser.

If life seems a little confusing and uncertain, know that you do have all the answers. When you go within, you have access to all of Soul’s wisdom and the source of your being. You know more than you think you know. When you leave the outside world behind, you let go of the limitations of the Ego self and move into a connection with all that is. In the meditative, hypnotic state, you are so much more than Ego. You are so much more than you.