Oct 01 2017

Money. Money. Money.

Category: BeliefPatricia @ 2:25 pm

 

pennies from heaven

 

How do you feel about money? What’s your relationship like? We all have a relationship with money. A very intimate and personal relationship. It’s a relationship that started when you were very young. You were given money and you were told its value. You quickly learned the difference between a penny and a quarter. And even though the coins were fun to play with and to count, you soon learned that the paper money was worth more. You learned how to shop and how to spend. Maybe you compared how much money you had with how much money your sister, brother or friend had. Maybe you spent your money as soon as you got it or maybe you were taught to put it in your piggy bank to save it for a later date.

As a child, you heard your parents talking about money. A conversation may have been a joyful exchange about how much to spend on a new car or the cost of a vacation. Or the conversation could have been a heated argument about how there wasn’t enough money to pay the rent. Just like with everything else, you were programmed about money by your life experience. Mom and Dad, your extended family, your environment all had an influence about how you feel about money. And that influence extends to how you act with money. You were taught about what money means. You believed what you were told.

Maybe you learned, “you have to work hard for your money.” Or maybe you learned, “you need to make your money work for you.” Perhaps you learned that “money can’t buy happiness” or that “the rich are different”. Adam Smith, an economist, says, All money is a matter of belief.”

Our beliefs affect our actions. If you were raised in a family where there was little money, you learned about lack. You may have developed spending guilt. You may be afraid to spend your money, for fear that you will not have more. You may tell yourself that you can’t afford it. When this happens, you project feelings of “lack”. You may become miserly. When you are projecting this vibration of lack, you are also attracting more of it. The truth is, in order to manifest more money, you need to be projecting feelings of abundance, not lack! Even when you are spending the money, you need to feel good about doing it. You need to feel that you are worth it. There is a very widespread limiting belief about money that you have to save it in order to be prosperous. No one ever got rich by putting all their money into a savings account. Do you believe money is a limited resource?

Sometimes we are taught to use money to increase our status. Will Rogers said, Too many people spend money they earned…to buy things they don’t want…to impress people that they don’t like.”  How do you spend your money? Are you guilty of using your charge card to pay for lunch for the whole table even though you don’t have enough cash in your wallet to pay for your own meal? Do you spend more than you can afford to buy designer labels? It’s good to have money and it’s good to spend money. It’s also good to understand what you’re spending it on and why you’re spending it. Don’t resort to retail therapy. Make sure that you haven’t lost sight of the things that money can’t buy.

Money is merely an energy exchange. It’s a tool. You earn money for your time and talent…for the energy you put into your job. You can then use the money to exchange it for goods and services that you want and need. You exchange your energy with someone else so that you both will benefit. Money will take you wherever you want to go, but it is necessary for you to be the driver. I encourage you to say “Yes” to life. Spend the money on the things you want to do. Take the trip. Your prosperity beliefs were formed long ago. You didn’t have a choice. But you do have a choice now.

Know that as a soul on life’s journey, you have a destiny to fulfill. The Universe wants to support you. It wants you to succeed! Expect the best. Ask yourself, “what would my life be like, if money were no object?”  Imagine what you would do. Imagine how you would live. Imagine with intention. The Universe is responding to your thoughts…and the way you feel about your thoughts. Emotion is the fuel of creation. Tell yourself: “I am a money magnet.” “Money flows to me constantly.” “I am attracting cash and income from new and unexpected sources.” “I have all the money I need and more.” “I am worthy of abundance.”  It feels good to think those thoughts, doesn’t it?

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Sep 26 2017

Reduce Your Suffering

Category: BeliefPatricia @ 9:48 am

shit on head

Unfortunately, it is part of the human condition to experience an unkind remark; an attack on physical appearance or ability; a hypocritical judgment. People can be cruel to each other with their words and their actions. And they can do these things for no apparent reason. As Don Miguel Ruiz advises us in his book, The Four Agreements, “Don’t take anything personally”! It’s not about you! Any statement, action or reaction of another human being is not about you or anything you may have done. When you can separate yourself from the opinions and actions of other people, you can reduce your personal angst and suffering. Those opinions and actions are all about that other human being’s life experience.

Remember, each one of us is the sum total of what we have experienced in our life. We are successfully fulfilling our life script based on our beliefs. What we perceive and therefore, know to be true, is based on our individual beliefs. Each one of us is living our life based on our own truth. We only know what we have been told by others and what we have experienced by ourselves. We have a limited perspective and consequently, we have a limited understanding.

Most people you meet will say and do whatever they do based on their own beliefs about the way things are. Each one of us has our own set of fears and beliefs. We have reached a conclusion about life based on our own attempts to survive. We develop coping mechanisms to get us through. We seek to numb ourselves to our feelings by turning to food, drugs, alcohol, sex and gambling. We look outside of ourselves to lay blame for our anger and frustration. We suffer.

Most of another’s bad attitudes, defenses and fearful behavior has nothing to do with you. Even when that bad attitude may appear to be aimed directly at you! The behavior has more to do with a past event when the person experienced a similar situation. The reaction is about all the other times. Especially the first time.  We react in the now moment based on our past programming…right or wrong. We perceive only what we believe.

When you can recognize that nothing is personal, you are able to get over it. You don’t feel abused or mistreated. You move on since you know the reaction is not about you; it is not about what is happening now. Their reaction is based on their past suffering. Do not be offended! Take the opportunity to extend kindness and compassion.

Another’s actions may cause you pain. You may feel frustrated or disappointed. You may know anger or betrayal. Know that your worth is not determined by what anyone else says or does or believes. Take those things less seriously. Focus on your own truth; the integrity of who you are. When you live your life as your authentic self, other’s opinions and behaviors do not hinder your happiness or your success. There is no need to suffer when you are living authentically. There is no need to care about other’s opinions of what you do and who you are. It doesn’t matter what they think or do. Instead, care about what you think of what you are doing. Be the best you. Tranquility will replace suffering.

 

 

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Sep 14 2017

Turning Mistakes Into Lessons

Category: Choices,Inspirational QuotesPatricia @ 12:03 pm

 

missed

 

We all make mistakes. It’s the way we learn. We try. We fail. We try again. Each time we do better because we know better. There is no need to regret your mistakes! Mistakes are not only tolerable, but are actually desirable. Einstein says, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

I’m sure that you can recall a time when you made a mistake… a mistake that taught you something. Even though it may have been unpleasant, you learned something from the mistake. I want you to begin to appreciate the fact that without having made mistakes like that, you would have never learned and progressed. We learn more from doing things wrong than from doing things right. Mistakes have consequences. Sometimes those consequences are immediate. Other times, the consequences may take years to surface.

Your imperfect mistakes have been perfect opportunities for a wealth of learnings; an indispensable foundation to build on. So don’t be mistaken about mistakes; the more unpleasant it is, the more beneficial the lesson will be. Paulo Coelho says, You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”

In order to turn your mistakes into lessons, it’s good to consider a few things. You need to consider the story you are telling yourself about the mistake. What role are you playing? Perpetrator? Victim? Hero?

 

This is what happened. Allow yourself to look at what occurred. Become an outside observer. Consider the factors leading up to the mistake. Consider what you believe happened. Consider the beliefs of others.


This is what I did.
Consider your actions and why you thought it was the right action at the time. Or maybe you knew it wasn’t the right action and you did it anyway. Consider why. Did you act consciously and mindfully? Did negative emotions affect your actions? Accept responsibility for your actions.


This has been the cost.
Consider the negative consequences of your actions. How were you affected? How were others affected? Was the cost too much to pay? Accept responsibility for the cost.


This is what I learned.
Consider your thoughts, beliefs and actions.  Understand why you did what you did. Look for the positive consequences of your new perspective. Accept yourself.


This is what I could do differently in the future.
Consider other choices you could have made. Consider the beliefs that led up to the choice that led to a mistake. Acknowledge your ability to respond in different ways and to make better choices in similar circumstances.

 

I’d like you to consider the benefit of having the courage to be imperfect. Human beings are not perfect. It really is all right to be human… and to make some mistakes…so that you can learn and grow. Make amazing mistakes, fantastic and interesting mistakes. Just do the best you can do.

 

 

 

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Aug 01 2017

Behaving As If

Category: ChoicesPatricia @ 10:30 am

ballerina

 

Do you have a role model? Perhaps you act as a role model for someone else? In some way, we are all role models to each other. Reflections. Good and bad illustrations of how to be. Since there is no reason to focus on a bad example, let’s focus on the good aspects of a role model. A good role model is always positive and confident in themselves and their abilities. A good role model is happy and grateful for their achievements, yet continues to strive for more. A role model serves as an example. Albert Einstein says, “Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means.”

When you are confronted with a challenge in your own life, consider asking yourself, “What would my role model do?” Observe how they approach problems or situations which are similar to your own personal dilemmas. Find out how they achieved their goals and what they would do differently if they were starting over. Use their example. Heed their advice. Pay attention to the qualities of their presence and demeanor. Are they decisive? Calm? In control? Do they seek the advice of others? Are they confident in their abilities? Do they avoid mediocrity and make great efforts for excellence? Act as if you are the same. And you will become that.

Your thoughts, words and actions influence people every moment of the day. They also influence you! Choose to be positive in your approach to life. Walk your talk – be consistent with your words and your actions. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!”  That is also integrity. A good role model is honest and trustworthy even when no one is watching.

By demonstrating good behavior, you deliver a strong message to others every day. This message is delivered when you accept responsibility for your actions. It is also delivered when you hold others accountable for their bad behavior and speak up when you need to do so. You influence others. When you follow the Ethics of Reciprocity, which is also known as the Golden Rule of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matt. 7:12), you create a connection. Almost all organized religions, philosophical systems, and secular systems of morality include such an ethic. Eric Allenbaugh reminds us of this when he says, “You are in charge of your feelings, beliefs, and actions. And you teach others how to behave toward you. While you cannot change other people, you can influence them through your own behaviors and actions. By being a living role model of what you want to receive from others, you create more of what you want in your life.”  You also attract people of like character and integrity.

Listen to your conscience.  You know what to do. Everyone will benefit.

 

 

 

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Jul 26 2017

The Neighborhood

Category: BeliefPatricia @ 3:54 pm

chester

 

A voice was silenced this week. A voice fueled by anguish and pain. Chester Bennington, a singer and songwriter who was the front man for the group Linkin Park, was found dead by suicide at the age of 41. Chester led a troubled life which included drug and alcohol abuse. The troubles began as a child. His parents divorced. He suffered sexual abuse. He was beaten. Life was not fun.

Earlier this year in an interview with Music Choice, he said. “My whole life, I’ve just felt a little off. I find myself getting into these patterns of behaviour or thought – especially when I’m stuck up here [in my head]; I like to say that, ‘This is like a bad neighbourhood, and I should not go walking alone.’”

How is the neighborhood in your head? Is it a scary place where you can get lost in self-ridicule and punishment? Are you afraid to walk down Memory Lane? Unable to confront the demons who may live there? Maybe you learned to escape the neighborhood in the same way that Chester escaped… with substance abuse. Or maybe you escaped in a different way.

The neighborhood in your head may be occupied by a committee who judges you. You are never good enough. “You should do this.” “You better not do that.” The committee may be made up of your parents, your boss, your spouse. The committee may be as large as an entire set of cultural beliefs and religious rules. It could be as small as your own ego. The committee may give you the wrong directions so you end up in a place you didn’t intend to go. Your neighborhood may be confusing place where the streets are not clearly marked; a place where you can lose your way. Your neighborhood may be made of one way streets and dead-ends. It may be very small and limited by the beliefs of the committee.

Chester knew that he “should not go walking alone.” But he did. When the neighborhood in your head is a really bad neighborhood, perhaps it would be best to share the thoughts with someone outside the neighborhood. Someone who has a different perspective; someone who knows a detour route around the bad side of town. It’s a good idea to check in with someone who doesn’t live in the neighborhood. They may know things you don’t know.

Remember you created the neighborhood. You may have created it intentionally. It may have been created by default. You moved in. You can move out. You decided what to bring along and what to leave behind. You can tear things down and you can build new things. The neighborhood is created by your thoughts and the pattern of your thoughts. When you repeat thoughts to yourself, over and over again, something happens. Whether these thoughts are true or not, you accept them as your truth. These thoughts become your beliefs. You act on your beliefs. When you choose to focus on the good thoughts…when you follow the wise advice of Mr. Rogers, “it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.”

When you were born, you did not come with an instruction manual. You were not given a map to show you how to get around the bad neighborhoods. You made your way the best way you knew how. If you’re feeling the neighborhood in your head needs some redevelopment, perhaps you need someone to walk along with you…until you can make it a safer place to be. I’ll hold your hand.

 

 

 

 

 

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Jul 11 2017

Being You

Category: Belief,ChoicesPatricia @ 2:04 pm

1250 roses

 

You don’t have a choice. Everyone else is taken. You need to be you. But, what does that mean? To be authentically you, you need to be true to your own personality, spirit, or character. You need to be sincere in your words and actions. I think it means to be loving and accepting towards yourself as you discover who you are. Carl Jung says, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

By definition, Humanistic psychologists would say that authentic people are psychologically mature and fully functioning as human beings. When you are being you, you have a realistic perception of yourself and your place in the world. You are thoughtful and accepting of others as well as yourself. When you are being authentic, you are able to freely express your emotions. The real you understands what motivates you. You are able to laugh at yourself and learn from your mistakes. You understand what you want and what you don’t want.

When you’re not being you, you suffer. Your body suffers. Listen to your body. When you lie to yourself or others, your body may suffer from a churning stomach. You may notice a sore throat or a cough as you speak words that are not true for you. Also notice this…what is true tends to make you feel stronger.

Lying is never being you. Pretending, people-pleasing and performing are not okay. When you lie, you suffer. Your integrity suffers. Your authenticity suffers. Don’t lie. Most importantly, don’t lie to yourself.  Accept the ugly bits of yourself. Accept your emotions, including the difficult ones. Emotions are there to help you in the moment. Process them and move on. Don’t hide from yourself. If you don’t recognize and accept your flaws, how can you possibly grow?

Being you is not about being perfect. It’s not about being the ideal version of yourself. We are all in a state of learning and growth. If you’re still alive and breathing, you’re still learning how to be you. You’re not done yet. Remember, learning is often messy. We make mistakes. We do things wrong. When you reject parts of yourself, you’re hiding from you. You’re not being real.

When you are authentically you, you are capable of anything. You will find that you have within you everything you need to create the life you want. The life that is unique to you. You stay in your own truth; you focus on your own business.

Byron Katie teaches that there are only three kinds of business: Mine, Yours, and God’s. She writes:

“Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. When I think, “You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself,” I am in your business. When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business…

Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own…To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. Do I know what’s right for me? That is my only business.”

Being you has nothing to do with anyone else. You are the only one responsible for you. If you’re trading your own authenticity, you may suffer. You may experience anxiety or depression. You may know addiction or anorexia. When you are not being you because you don’t feel that it’s safe to be authentic, you may suffer from resentment, blame or even rage. When you trade your authenticity to please others, you will know grief.

Begin now. Recognize your truth. Speak it. Live it. Be you. Know that you are the only one there is. So you are the only one who knows how to do it. You know it in your heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Jun 26 2017

Just One Thing

Category: Control,Inspirational QuotesPatricia @ 4:29 pm

001

So maybe life isn’t going as you expected. The year is half over and those New Year’s resolutions have not panned out. Maybe you regret what you’ve done or maybe you regret what you didn’t do. Maybe that job you were hoping for didn’t come through. You didn’t even get the rejection call from the employer. Or maybe that man you’ve been dating did make the rejection call. Maybe you can’t pay your rent and you don’t know what to do next. Any one of those things can send us into a feeling of overwhelm or panic. We look for answers. We ask, “how did this happen?” We consider all the things we did wrong. We determine many ways to blame. We think of all the ways we may be able to fix the situation. And sometimes we can’t think of any way at all. When this happens, we experience “analysis paralysis.” And then nothing happens. We can’t take action. Our analysis of the situation has literally paralyzed our ability to act.

When we experience regrets about what we could have done; should have done; or what would happen if we had done…we dwell on all the negative aspects of the situation. We focus on everything we perceive to have done wrong. We judge ourselves and others. We assign responsibility for the situation. CouldaShouldaWoulda World is not a place you want to visit! Remember you did what you did with what you knew at the time. You made choices. Your life is a reflection of your choices.

We would all be better served if we chose to concentrate our efforts on changing just one aspect of our thoughts and actions. When we spend our time thinking about all the things that we need to change, it’s impossible to focus on taking constructive action on just one thing. When we focus, everything is much easier to accomplish.

You don’t need to address everything at once…you just need to focus on one thing! And do you know what that one thing is? The one thing you can do to influence your outside world…is to go within and to focus on what you want! This one thing is the most powerful and influential thing you can do. Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “Do the thing and you will have the Power.”

We all have the ability to do the thing. You are born with an imagination and desire. You have gifts, skills, talents and abilities. It’s an inside thing. Using your ability to visualize, imagine, pretend and experience, you create your life. You determine what you want. You have the ability to make the choices to create the actions which bring the experience into your reality.

Stop analyzing what you are doing wrong. Let go of the regrets. Kiss the blame goodbye. And begin again in this moment. Remember the only time there will ever be is this now moment. Now go within. Focus. Do the thing.

 

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Jun 19 2017

Once Every Year

Category: BeliefPatricia @ 4:18 pm

Birthday+Cake+-+lots+of+candles

 

You probably didn’t. But about 814,000 other people in the United States celebrated a special day with me.  On another day you will celebrate a special day too, because each one of us has our own special holiday. It’s a day that is set aside once a year to celebrate your own personal trip around the sun. Your birthday. It’s the day of your beginning; the moment you arrived.

It is the custom to bestow birthday wishes on the celebrant. We wish others a “happy” birthday. Maybe despite conflicting evidence, we all want each other to experience happiness. And we make an effort to tell them so. Facebook makes it easy to reach out. At least on this one day. I appreciate all the happy. Every wish feels good. Others treat us differently on our birthday. There may be gifts and outings. People sing a special song to us. We get birthday hugs and kisses, cards and flowers. Maybe we make a wish and blow out the candles on our birthday cake. We receive outward expressions of love. Often we treat ourselves differently too. You may give yourself permission to splurge on something you want. You may challenge yourself to do something dramatic like skydiving or some other death-defying act. You may gather your loved ones around you. Or you may allow yourself to let go of your responsibilities for just one day…because it’s your birthday.

So what is this special holiday and what does it mean to you? You have your own personal perception of how to celebrate your birthday. Certain birthdays are considered milestones. When you reach 21 years of age, you are considered to legally be an adult. At 16, you can drive a car. At 65, you can enroll in Medicare and consider yourself to be a senior citizen. A birthday is nothing more than a measurement of time, but the number can have different perceptions and meaning.  If you’re unemployed and living in your parent’s basement, perhaps you’re not celebrating your success at 35 in the same way as if you had reached that age when you were established in your career. Birthdays can give us an opportunity to compare ourselves with others and then rate ourselves accordingly. This is never a good idea. You are where you are in your life because of the choices you have made. If you’re not happy with the comparison, accept your choices and then decide to make better ones. Remember a birthday is merely a record of how many times you have circled the sun. When you make different choices along your journey, you end up in a different place from where you began.

Birthday experiences and celebrations change as we age. Our parents may make a big deal out of our first birthday but we don’t even remember it. At about 4 or 5, we start to remember the birthday parties and look forward to gifts and special outings. We count our age as 4, going on 5. Or we say we are 4 and a half. Counting makes us feel bigger and smarter. Until it doesn’t. At a certain point as the numbers increase, some of us don’t even want to acknowledge our birthday any more. Counting can make us feel used up or worn out or “over the hill”. We evaluate where we’ve been and where we are going, according to what we believe to be true.

Our birthdays are part of our own unique lifescript. This is a belief system about the way things are and about who you are. Your lifescript began at birth. Your parents began to define you. They gave you a name. They offered a way of life. You were given information about your economic status in the world…about money….how to earn it…how to spend it…how much you could have…what you were worth. You were given information about your gender. They told you how to be a boy or a girl…about sex…love and power. Your lifescript was written before you were born by your culture, ethnicity, place of origin. You were given limits. You were told how to be and you made choices based on the beliefs about what you were told. And it all began on the day you were born.

On the anniversary of your birth…your special holiday…give your self permission to be re-born into a life where you decide how to be. Re-write your lifescript to support your wishes and dreams. And may this birth day be happy.

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Jun 13 2017

Measuring Up

Category: BeliefPatricia @ 9:51 am

measure 1928

 

 “The real contest is always between what you’ve done and what you’re capable of doing. You measure yourself against yourself and nobody else.”     ~ Geoffrey Gaberino.

When we measure something or someone, we judge, evaluate and rate. We scrutinize in order to form an assessment by judging. This judgment is made according to a comparison with a certain standard.  Each one of us has our own standards by which we measure ourselves and others. These standards and values are based on subconscious programming and beliefs about what is good and bad, right and wrong. When we measure, it is based on a directly observable value or performance. We determine what is best, based on our own limited perceptions and reality. Just like everything else, this measurement involves choices which determine the importance or value of something.

Have you been measuring yourself against others? Or against yourself? There is really no point at all in measuring yourself against others. When you compare your self to someone else, you put your self in competition with their self. And then you both lose. Each one of us is a unique being with individual and specific gifts, skills and talents which are perfectly aligned to support our life’s mission. You have everything you need to create the life you want. If you were to compare, you would find that no one else has what you need. You may wrongly assess the importance or value of something based on your own personal perceptions. You may think you need something that someone else possesses. You may be lying to yourself and making up stories that are hurtful or limiting.

When you measure yourself against yourself, you can determine how you can do better. And then you can do it! Perhaps you are judging your level of fitness and have determined that you are unsatisfied with how you measure up. Ask yourself how you can improve. You know what you need to do. And you know it is entirely up to you. No one else is feeding you. No one else is moving your body. No one else is making your choices. It’s you. Just you. So stop comparing your body to some one else’s body. Their body is a result of their choices. It has nothing to do with you. Instead, ask yourself what you can do to get the results you want. Make the judgment that you are capable of doing better. Decide that you are capable of making healthy food choices and that you will make time to exercise. Compare your actions with your results and then judge yourself to be doing well. Measure this week’s self against last week’s self. Enjoy your ability to create your success and accomplish your goals.

Are you being the best you that you can imagine? If not, why not? Being the best you is being aligned with your joy. Your joy. No one else’s joy. Your dreams. No one else’s dreams. Stretch your imagination. Dream big. And realize that no one else on the planet is capable of dreaming your dreams or living your joy. Only you can measure up to that.

 

 

 

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May 30 2017

Agreeing To Be Married

Category: BeliefPatricia @ 12:52 pm

wedding-cake-toppers

 

A lot of weddings will take place this month. Did you know that there are more weddings in June than any other month? Did you ever wonder why? The tradition has been around since the Roman Empire. June is named after the Roman goddess Juno, who was considered to be the protector of women in all aspects of life, but especially in marriage and in childbirth.

A wedding is the public ceremony where two individuals agree to their commitment to each other… until they don’t. Unfortunately, one-third of marriages end in divorce. Fortunately, that statistic is down from one-half. As a society, we’re getting a little better at being more compassionate and forgiving of our spouses.

A lot of thought and effort goes into creating a wedding ceremony. There are many traditions and many cultures. And there is also a sense of individuality expressed in the ceremony. Couples spend months of their lives and thousands of dollars of their financial energy to create the spectacle that is a wedding. Don’t get me wrong. I love weddings. And I’ve had the great pleasure to be the officiant performing the wedding ceremony. But…marriage is not about the wedding ceremony! Not at all. It would be more beneficial if couples gave as much attention to the details and planning of a marriage.

Marriage is about agreements. All relationships are about agreements. Two people make agreements with each other about how the relationship will be. They decide what roles they will play; and how and when they will play those roles. Behavior is agreed upon. Limits are set. Responsibilities are negotiated. People decide how to have disagreements and solve problems. If not, there may be resentment or anger or jealousy. Individuals decide what is acceptable and what is not. In every relationship, there is a “deal breaker”…if one of the individuals does the unacceptable. And then a new agreement must be negotiated which allows for healing and growth. If not, the relationship will suffer and eventually come to an end.

Each one of us learns about marriage from what we witness from our own parents and extended family. Society and religious traditions tell us more. We learn about expectations, duties, authority. We are taught and subconsciously programmed about relationships; the way things are. If we are fortunate, we learn about love, compassion, understanding and acceptance. But not all of us are fortunate. Some of us learned about relationships from parents who failed at it. So some of us learned how to fail.

A marriage is a partnership contract. Marriage is a choice you make every day…over and over…and that choice is reflected in how you treat each other. It is a commitment to value your marriage above your own interests. A marriage is like its own separate entity, almost like a company where you both work as equal partners. When the employee gives care and attention to their job, the company thrives. When the company thrives, it is able to support the employee’s needs. The marriage, just like the company, has needs to be fulfilled.

Just like everything else in life, how we behave in a marriage is how we are taught to behave; how we are expected to behave; how we agree to behave. And our behavior is based on the past programming and perceptions of our individual subconscious mind. The behavior and character of a marriage is based on the past programming of two subconscious minds and their ability to understand and support each other’s behaviors and beliefs. This is not an easy task!!! However it is a task that is well worth learning and perfecting.

As we enter the month of June, I invite you to think about your own marriage whether you’re in it now, have been in it and left it, or hope to be in it. Consider the agreements you’ve made. Consider if they are serving both individuals as well as the marriage. Or consider how and why the agreements didn’t serve. Consider how you may make a new agreement or a new commitment to make the marriage stronger. Think about how a new relationship may benefit from what you learned in the past. We all become stronger, better and wiser within relationships. It creates contrast and conflicts and helps us to see things from another’s perspective. Our partners encourage us to be more. They inspire us and challenge us to grow. Our partners also support us, make us laugh and share our life experience. Marriage is worth the effort. As a June bride, having spent more than four decades in a relationship, I can happily attest to that.

 

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May 03 2017

Comfort Zone

Category: BeliefPatricia @ 4:24 pm

Walking_on_Water_copy

When we try new things or do something that is outside of our comfort zone, we often feel fearful. Sometimes it helps to understand the fear, when the feeling that creates it is given a name. In 1978, two American psychologists, Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, gave it a name: the impostor syndrome. This feeling is described as a feeling of “phoniness in people who believe that they are not intelligent, capable or creative despite evidence of high achievement.” These people “live in fear of being ‘found out’ or exposed as frauds.”  After receiving an Academy Award for her work in the movie, “Fences”, Viola Davis admitted that she suffers from this syndrome. Like many of us, she is telling herself a story based on her beliefs; she is creating her own version of reality, despite evidence to the contrary.

Why would we feel this way? When we have a skill or talent that comes easily, we tend to discount its value. We don’t want to be conceited or boastful. There may be a natural sense of humility about what we do. When we are comfortable doing what we do well, it doesn’t feel like we are doing anything special or noteworthy. We don’t recognize our natural gifts. We don’t recognize that we have unique skills and talents that support our life’s journey. We don’t recognize all that we are. We are not comfortable with our magnificence. That can be okay, as long as we don’t allow ourselves to believe that we can’t do anything that is outside of our comfort zone. We don’t want to paralyze ourselves with fear, as we imagine all the ways that we will fail when we try something new. There is no need to limit our life experience based on false beliefs about our abilities. We can expand our comfort zone.

On some level, we all suffer from imposter syndrome. We tell ourselves stories about what we can and can not do. We evaluate how well we do things or how badly we fail. We decide what is possible. We create our own version of reality. When you examine your feelings of comfort and discomfort, it is important to understand that you are imagining…making up a story about who you are. In this examination, you can come to a place of acceptance of all that you are.

How do we learn to live with this imposter syndrome? In her book “Radical Acceptance,” Tara Brach shared a story about Buddha and the demon Mara. “One day, Buddha was teaching a large group, and Mara was moving around the edges, looking for a way into the group. I envision Mara rushing frantically back and forth in the bushes and trees, making plans to wreak havoc. One of Buddha’s attendants saw Mara, ran to Buddha and warned him of Mara’s presence. Hearing his attendant’s frantic warning, the Buddha simply replied, “Oh good, invite her in for tea.”

When your demons of self-doubt are threatening your inner peace and acceptance of yourself, invite them in. The more you know of them, the better you can accept them as a part of you. You get real with yourself.

 

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Apr 27 2017

Lack or Abundance

Category: BeliefPatricia @ 9:57 am

 

tanker truck

What are you lacking? If you are having thoughts about the lack of financial success…the lack of a relationship… the lack of health and wellbeing…than that is what you are creating. You are creating a vibrational frequency that is equal to lack. You are creating what you don’t want. This kind of thinking is totally counter-productive. You can not get thin while thinking about being fat. You can not get rich by thinking about being poor. The thought is the vibrational key. The thought is the expectation. When you are thinking negative thoughts, you are creating the expectation of negative circumstances. And so it is with positive thoughts creating positive events. You are receiving exactly what you are thinking about…what you expect to receive.

The world is full of abundance and opportunity, but far too many people come to the fountain of life with a sieve instead of a tank car… a teaspoon instead of a steam shovel. They expect little and as a result they get little. ~ Ben Sweetland

If you want to use your thought energy in a far more productive manner, stop planning for what you don’t want. Stop thinking about worst case scenarios. Instead, begin to visualize, imagine, pretend or experience a best case scenario. And then think about the way you feel. You’ve created another vibration. A productive one. The feeling, or emotion, is a creative force. When you focus on this feeling, you add fuel to the fire of co-creation. Napoleon Hill tells us, “Remember, no more effort is required to aim high in life, to demand abundance and prosperity than is required to accept misery and poverty.”

Consider that your subconscious mind is like a fine-tuned high performance vehicle. Your conscious mind is the driver. When you have a thought, it is like a key in the ignition. It starts the vehicle. It begins the journey. The feeling or emotion that is evoked by the thought is the fuel; the gas that gets the vehicle moving.

The fountain of life is abundant and overflowing. Although the individual has a limited field of vision, there is an unlimited supply of abundance available. There is enough for everyone. You are free to take what you need. Are you driving your tank car to the fountain? Or are you arriving by foot with a sieve? What are you expecting? Lack or Abundance? Just like everything else…it’s a choice. It begins with a thought.

 

 

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Mar 28 2017

Impossible? What Do You Think?

Category: BeliefPatricia @ 12:03 pm

chris bertish.1

 

Chris Bertish made history this month. One day at a time. One stroke at a time. He did what many would consider impossible. Chris Bertish, a world champion big wave surfer from South Africa, recently completed a trans-Atlantic journey on a 20-foot stand-up paddleboard. Yes, that’s right. On a paddleboard. Across the Atlantic Ocean. Alone. He made the decision. He made the plan. He believed it was possible. And then he did it…through the power of his own mind, through the power of his own thoughts.

Bertish made the journey as a way to raise money for charity and test the limits of possibility. His motto is “Dream it, See it, Believe it, Achieve it.” The Lunchbox Fund, Operation Smile, and Signature of Hope were the three main beneficiaries of the reported $6 million raised by this amazing journey. When we are inspired to do for others, we are fueled by more power and determination. The goal becomes bigger than the individual. Success matters more.

The journey from Morocco’s Agadir Harbor, to Antigua’s English Harbor took ninety three days. It is estimated that to travel the distance of 4,050 miles, 2,088,000 paddle strokes were required. To do this, it was necessary to consume 8,000-10,000 calories per day. The average distance traveled every day was 44 miles. More than a marathon. Every day. For ninety three days.

Bertish said, “This whole project is about breaking boundaries and redefining what is possible. Ninety-five percent of the world thought it was impossible. The words ‘impossible’ and ‘can’t’ are motivators for me to find solutions, get creative and make the impossible possible.” You decide what is possible in your life. You decide what your limits are. And it is your choice to break those limits. Anything is possible if you believe it is possible.

As you can imagine, there were challenges along the way. More than a dozen things broke and needed to be jury-rigged. And remember the repairs needed to be done in treacherous conditions, including a couple of close encounters with sharks and 20-foot seas. One of the biggest challenges came when the solar panels which allowed him to make fresh drinking water stopped working properly. Unable to make the three gallons of water needed to survive on a daily basis, he said “I had to train my body to survive on a gallon to a gallon and a half of water each day. That way, I could manage the other systems that would keep me alive, like powering the automatic identification systems so giant tankers could see me and wouldn’t run me over in the middle of the night.”  The body is a reflection of your subconscious mind. Through mindfulness and meditative thought you can cause changes in your body functions, when you believe you can.

In the 1980’s, Dr. Herbert Benson did studies on the mind-body connection. His research showed that highly trained Tibetan monks were able to control their body temperature by using the power of their mind.  Through deep concentration, the monks were able to generate enough heat that they were able to dry wet blankets with their body heat. The meditating monks could increase the temperature of their fingers and toes by as much as 46.94 °F.  Like the Tibetan monks, Indian yogis are also able to manipulate their physiological processes. Research done in 1936 showed that yogis were able to slow their heart rate down so slow that it was only detectable with an EKG. And of course you are aware of the placebo effect. It is so widely accepted as fact that most medical tests use it as a way of proving if a drug works on its own or because people “think” it works. If we think it works, it does. Our body responds physiologically, producing real biological effects, as a reaction to a belief or an inert substance. An amusing study was done by a group of Princeton students. The experimenters served non-alcoholic O’Douls at a keg party then watched as their guests acted as if they were drinking regular beer. Generally behaving as if they were drunk, they acted silly, slurred their words and staggered around. Their belief affected their body’s reactions and their behavior. Bertish reinforces this when he says, “What I find fascinating about adventure is it teaches you about your limits and shows you that you can push your body to overcome things that most people think aren’t humanly possible. It makes you realize how incredible the human body is if you teach it to do something and shift the normality of what it’s expected to do.”

There were multiple life-threatening low-points, “where it was about having the right mental attitude to stay strong and not fall apart and just endure every hour, every day, every night … night after night, stroke after stroke, for 93 days straight’. Bertish says, “How did I get through it? It was all about going stroke-by-stroke, just getting through the next hour, the next day, the next night, the next storm. If you stay focused on what is happening right in front of you and never give up, you’ll eventually make it to your goal.” Success happens when you stay in the now moment. We can not be present and aware if we are thinking about something that happened in the past or what might happen in the future. The now moment is the moment of power…the moment of creation.

So is there something “impossible” that you would like to accomplish? What’s your excuse? What do you need to motivate yourself? Perhaps there is a charity worth your support. Perhaps there is challenge you want to give to yourself. What are your limits? Who created them? There are no limits. There are only limited thoughts. Chris Bertish has decided to embrace “limitless living. We can achieve, explore and do anything we want in life.” I congratulate and applaud Chris Bertish on this amazing achievement; not only for his own personal goal, but for the recipients of his charitable giving.  He is absolute proof that The Mind Matters!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Mar 23 2017

Choices For Your Future

Category: ChoicesPatricia @ 8:16 am

crystal ball

 

Imagine being able to transport yourself to a time in the future. Ten years from now, where are you and what are you doing? What are you wearing? What is your home like? Who do you live with? What is your financial status? Are you healthy? Are you happy? What do you imagine your life will be like? How do you think the future happens? Is it all random or do you have any control?

When you consider the future, you will find that there are really three simple choices to decide upon.  You control your choices and you also control your actions. So, simply stated, you control your future.

You could continue to do the same thing as you are doing now…thinking the same thoughts; doing the same actions. Ten years may pass, but nothing but your physical body changes. You age. You have fewer options. You live in the same place. You work at the same career. You do the same leisure activities. If you are alone, you are still alone. If you are in a bad relationship, you are still in a bad relationship. You have the same amount of money. Over the next ten years, you will not grow at all. You will remain the same. Remaining the same is the most difficult to do. Outside circumstances influence inner choices and sometimes it is impossible not to grow. But really, why would you want to remain the same? How boring!!!

You could do less than what you are doing now…thinking negative thoughts; acting in a self-destructive manner. Many things may change ten years from now when you’re thinking about what you don’t want to happen. You may have lost your job; lost your home; lost a good relationship. And the worst that can happen is that you may have lost your health. Over the next ten years, you will experience a downward spiral, leading you to a life of depression and despair. Making bad choices and doing stupid things is very easy to do when you don’t pay attention. But, then, the consequences make life a lot more difficult.

You could do things differently than you do right now… focusing your positive thoughts on the experiences you want to have. Everything may change in ten years when you take control of your thoughts and your actions… starting now. You may become a happier, healthier, wiser version of yourself. Over the next ten years, you could experience a joyful and successful life. Doing things differently may seem difficult at first. But the results of achieving positive goals makes life worthwhile.

You get to decide. The Now you creates the Future you. How would you like your future to be? You really do have some control over how it all turns out. Imagine that. In the magical state of creation, the economic exchange is different than that of the U. S. Treasury. You may not have unlimited cash flow, but you do have unlimited imagination. You can choose to have it all. Or you can choose to have nothing at all. You can afford to have the life of your dreams. You know that when you dream, anything is possible. Dream on.

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Mar 16 2017

Versions of the Truth

Category: ChoicesPatricia @ 9:03 am

lying

When was the last time you told a “white lie”? Who did you lie to? What would have happened if you had told the truth? We all tell lies. “White” lies and “black” lies.  A lie is an untrue statement made with the intention to deceive or create a false impression. It misleads you. On purpose. A “white” lie is considered to be a lie with “good” intentions. But it is still a lie. In the movie, “Something’s Gotta Give”, after catching the man she loves with another woman, the character is confronted by the man. He says, “I have never lied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth.” She replies, “The truth doesn’t have versions, okay?” Unfortunately, we all have our own unique version of reality and sometimes truth gets confusing.

As beings, we are always trying to look good both to ourselves and to the outside world. “It’s tied in with self-esteem,” says University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert Feldman. “We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels”.  He goes on to say, “We’re trying not so much to impress other people but to maintain a view of ourselves that is consistent with the way they would like us to be”. We generally want to be agreeable and to make social situations easy. We want to avoid insulting others by disagreeing or speaking up.

Although many animals engage in deception and deliberately mislead another…only the human animal is wired to deceive ourselves as well as others. Feldman’s research shows that people are so engaged in managing how others perceive them that they are often unable to separate truth from fiction in their own minds. Is the perfectly posed and digitally enhanced selfie posted to social media a true representation of the self?

Both men and women lie but apparently they do it for different reasons. Men lie no more than women, but they tend to lie to make themselves look better. Perhaps suggesting their golf score was lower; the fish was bigger; the salary more impressive. Women are more likely to lie to make the other person feel better. Often praising or complimenting another’s outfit or decorating style; omitting a truth about a person’s weight or lovelife.  We all start lying at around age 4 to 5 when we gain an awareness of the use and power of our words.  We begin to lie to find out what we can manipulate. We test and test again. Eventually, we learn to use lying to get out of trouble or get something we want.

But lying can get us into trouble. When we lie, we can lose the things we want most. Lying can create problems with our relationships. It can destroy our financial security. It can erode trust. Friedrich Nietzsche says, “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”‘

Sometimes we lie to control a response. We tell our side of a story. We leave out significant details. We rephrase the words we spoke. And then we tell this story to someone about an interaction with a friend or boss. The subtle changes we make may influence the person’s response and their attitude about the interaction. In the end, you can not believe the truth of their response because it is based on less than truthful details provided to them. You are getting advice based on misinformation. If you manipulate the outcome of the response, you are lying to yourself. And you are denying yourself of another person’s true opinions.

Sometimes we lie by omitting facts. Perhaps you forget to mention that you ran into an ex and had lunch. Or maybe you conceal an ongoing flirtation with a neighbor. And you may be lying to yourself when you’re frustrated that you aren’t losing weight and forget that you mindlessly consumed a bag of chips as an afternoon snack. Everyone has experienced a time when they leave out details, but sometimes those details really matter. Whether there is nothing to hide or something you are concealing, leaving out facts creates an opportunity for further deceptions.

Sometimes we lie by exaggeration. We exaggerate to preserve an image of ourselves. There is a fine line between highlighting your better qualities and completely inflating them. Insecurities lead to exaggeration when someone has a lack of self-esteem; a need for approval from others. If you don’t think you’re good enough, you have to exaggerate to make yourself feel better. You may exaggerate to your boss about your abilities or skill level. But a poor performance is a broken promise. Exaggerating makes you untrustworthy.

Sometimes we lie to protect ourselves. We listen to our inner critic, that committee of voices that tells us that we are a failure or disappointment; that it isn’t safe to tell the truth about how we feel or what we want. We may guard ourselves from being vulnerable or feeling foolish by downplaying our emotions. But when you waste your time defending yourself against false perceptions of who you are, you move further away from your goals and aspirations.

You can begin by being honest with yourself. Although there is an ever-present possibility of deceit in all human relationships, your relationship with your own self is most important. Get to know the inner critic. Your inner critic was installed by years of negative programming of your subconscious mind. Separate it from your now reality and stop listening to it. Be more honest and direct with the people in your life as you express yourself. Find kind and considerate ways to do that and be sensitive to the other person’s sense of reality. A true friend or loved one is someone you can openly communicate with; someone who can offer honest feedback to your concerns and ideas; and someone who would welcome the same honest feedback in return.  Really strong relationships are based on what people really are, not on what they pretend to be. Truth earns trust and respect.

Joseph Sugarman says, “Each time you are honest and conduct yourself with honesty, a success force will drive you toward greater success. Each time you lie, even with a little white lie, there are strong forces pushing you toward failure.” Jedi Master Obi Way Kenobi says, “May the Force be with you.”

 

 

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Mar 09 2017

Do This. Live Longer.

Category: Health & Wellness,Positive ThinkingPatricia @ 1:33 pm

happy face

 

An optimistic outlook helps you live longer. Expecting good things brings good things. Positive thinking is a powerful medicine…with no negative side effects! A new study from the Harvard School of Public Health states that case. It was found that factors such as optimism, life satisfaction and happiness are associated with a reduced risk of cardio-vascular disease. This reduced risk is regardless of other factors such as smoking or weight or age.

Eric Kim, research fellow in the Department of Social and Behavioral Sciences and co-lead author of the study said, “Our new findings suggest that we should make efforts to boost optimism, which has been shown to be associated with healthier behaviors and healthier ways of coping with life challenges.” It may be that higher optimism has a direct impact on our biological health. Apparently scientific studies show that more than any other factor, it is positive thinking that enhances longevity.

The science of happiness is increasingly suggesting a link between happiness and health. A study analyzed data from 2004 to 2012 from 70,000 women enrolled in the Nurses’ Health Study. Josh Richardson in an article in Prevent Disease reports that “The most optimistic women had a 16 percent lower risk of dying from cancer; 38 percent lower risk of dying from heart disease; 39 percent lower risk of dying from stroke; 38 percent lower risk of dying from respiratory disease; and 52 percent lower risk of dying from infection.”

It appears that optimism, happiness and good health go together hand-in-hand. Scientific studies have been finding that happiness can make our hearts healthier, our immune systems stronger, and our lives longer. Positive thoughts actually affect and enhance our cellular structure.

Do you want to live longer? Do you want to be healthier while you are living? And just what is optimism? The dictionary defines it as “a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome”. It’s about focus on what you want and the belief that it is possible. If you don’t believe it is possible, you don’t have faith in the outcome. Optimism is a state of having positive beliefs. It is based on confidence, enthusiasm and trust. Remember, a belief is simply a thought you think over and over.

You may be aware of some thoughts about optimism which are part of our culture. Thoughts like, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” “There are plenty of fish in the sea.” And of course, “Look at the glass as half full instead of half empty.” I prefer to think of my glass as re-fillable!

You can write your own prescription for this “miracle” of longevity. Your optimism can be altered with a few simple interventions. Remember everything begins with a thought. And everything good begins with a good thought! Lao Tzu tells us, “Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success.”  Life is but a dream.

Give your attention to what you want by acknowledging and focusing on the positive things taking place in your everyday life. Be present in the now moment. Focus on your loved ones. Enjoy the beauty of nature. Watch a funny movie. Read an inspiring story. Become more aware of the moments of your life and engage your senses as you appreciate the good, exciting and notable events happening. The essence of all you appreciate is constantly flowing into your reality. When you pay attention, it becomes obvious.

What are you choosing to think about? Remember there is no one else in your head but you. You are creating the thoughts. And the thoughts are creating your reality. And apparently the thoughts you are thinking are also determining how long you’ll be around to think about things.
 

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Mar 03 2017

Faith & Belief – The Way Things Are

Category: Belief,Inspirational Quotes,Spiritual ExplorationPatricia @ 2:51 pm

faith

 

            Your subconscious mind is ruled by faith. This faith is created by years of believing in the way things are. This is not necessarily truth, but rather it is individual belief based on particular life experiences. Your subconscious mind responds to the orders you give it based upon what your conscious mind believes and accepts to be true.  Your personal subconscious memory bank decides what to expect. If you have experienced failure, your subconscious will come to expect failure, unless the memories can be cleared and new expectations programmed.

Clearing the negative accumulation in your memory bank affects conscious reactions to new life experiences. Using self-hypnosis, you can choose to direct your conscious mind to use the faculties of your subconscious mind to create new beliefs. These beliefs create a thought vibration which attracts similar experiences. Over time and repetition, these beliefs and their demonstration create faith. Napoleon Hill states in Think & Grow Rich that “Faith is a state of mind which may be induced or created by affirmation or the repeated instructions to the subconscious mind, through the principle of auto-suggestion…Repetition of affirmations of orders to your subconscious mind is the only known method of voluntary development of the emotion of faith”.

Faith has many levels. When your subconscious mind is convinced, it begins to act. So it is important that you make sure your subconscious mind believes the right things. Faith is based on past experiences and the best knowledge available at the time. Realistic faith determines what can be believed, however, it may be self-limiting based on that knowledge. For example, limitations are realistic based on factors outside of the individual’s control. A man of six feet tall cannot realistically expect to become a jockey, so his faith is limited. Positive faith is the way a situation is approached with optimism, hope and faith in the possibilities.  Active faith can be demonstrated and proven when an individual takes action based on positive, realistic, limited faith. This level of faith is exhibited in self-confidence and a positive belief in yourself and your abilities to accomplish goals.

Your subconscious mind allows you to travel through time and space in order to make decisions which are best for your self-actualization. Remember, the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is imagined and what is perceived to be reality.  When your subconscious is convinced, these things become real to you. When you challenge the boundaries of your reality, you increase your faith in what you believe to be true or possible. Dan Custer, in his book, The Miracle of Mind Power, says, “You are the center of your experience. Your world of experience is formed and given direction by you. You are the point of your own individual thinking; inspired by your desires, planned by your imagination and brought into experience by your belief or your faith. The universal law of mind brings your experiences into shape and form according to the way you think in your heart.”

You are able to program yourself to stop doing something, start doing something, or do something differently. By directing your thoughts, you create an action which elicits a response and reaction from your subconscious mind. Without direction, there is no action. The subconscious is a vehicle. Conscious guidance and faith are necessary to drive the vehicle to the desired destination. It is vital to understand that each individual is limited only by their beliefs. There are no limitations, there is only limited thinking! Although the conscious mind is limited by our faith, the individual subconscious/subjective part of us is linked with the collective Superconscious. Being Universal, this subjective part of us is without limit.

The objective/conscious mind deals with the outside world and the physical state of being within it. The greatest function of the conscious mind is reasoning. This function is based on your beliefs about what you’ve observed, or your objective/individual perception of reality. The most influential source of these beliefs comes from the knowns in your subconscious mind. A known is something that has been learned or experienced before; one understands it and is comfortable with it. Positive and negative knowns create your lifescript, or your individual beliefs about who you are and how life is supposed to be.

Belief creates faith. Proof is unnecessary for those who believe; impossible for those who don’t.  We decide what is reasonable to believe based on our experiences and our critical reasoning. The conscious mind can only know as much as it has experienced, explored or been taught to know. It reflects the limited knowledge and abilities of the individual being expressed at that particular time. When the conscious mind has the physical knowledge and experience, the subconscious mind incorporates it into the memory bank and makes it available to access in the future. The conscious teaches the subconscious with more knowledge and experience about the beliefs in the way things are.

The conscious mind is ruled by belief. When you set a goal, your beliefs about success or failure determine the outcome. Imagination enhances belief in the results. Conscious, subconscious and SuperConscious all work together in divine harmony. As physical beings, the individual conscious mind is in a position to direct evolution of the spiritual experience. The key to the success of that evolution is belief and faith.

The subconscious mind is ruled by faith and will act according to that faith. When you are faithful to the subjective/ subconscious image, you believe that it will appear in the objective/conscious world. You take conscious action based on certainty which sends a clear message to the SuperConscious.  The Universal Mind, the SuperConscious responds to the belief in the positive outcome. Thoughts become things. Faith is answered and manifestation results. You experience your life the way you believe it to be.

 

 

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Feb 14 2017

LovingKindness

Category: Choices,Spiritual ExplorationPatricia @ 4:56 pm

Words-are-Energy-Love

 

Buddhism teaches us about LovingKindness through a practice called Metta, meaning unconditional, inclusive love; friendliness, empathy or kindness. Metta recognizes that all sentient beings (i.e., all beings that are capable of feeling) can feel good or feel bad; and that when given the choice, all will choose to feel good rather than bad. It does not depend on whether one “deserves” it or not. There are no expectations of reciprocity. The process is one of breaking down barriers and judgments that we feel toward ourselves, and then those that we feel toward others. Although this is a Buddhist practice, Metta is a practice which can help anyone to cultivate or develop a positive emotion…a good feeling in your heart.

To begin the practice, you must first focus on yourself. You must love and accept yourself first! It all begins with you. And you receive the benefits. You deserve LovingKindness towards yourself. Recognize your gifts and talents. Look at your skills and abilities. Remind yourself of the qualities of you. And as you do this, you will have feelings of strength and confidence. You love yourself for who you are. You acknowledge your mistakes and forgive yourself. And as you see yourself through loving eyes, say, “May I be well and happy.”

Next think of a good friend or a family member. Visualize them and think of their good qualities. Feel your love for them. Connect with them and say, “May they be well and happy.” As you experience this connection, notice how you feel in your heart.

Now think of a person that you don’t know well. You don’t particularly like or dislike them; you feel neutral. Visualize them and reflect on their humanity. Connect with them as another human being; someone who loves and is loved by others. A person with hopes and fears just like you. And say, “May they be well and happy.”

The next step may be difficult or challenging. That just means it will help you to grow to be better; stronger. Think of someone you actually dislike – an enemy or opponent. This is someone who may be creating problems for you, such as an ex-spouse or a difficult boss. It may be a political figure. Do not get caught up in negative feelings of anger or hatred because you are the one who will feel the ill effects in your heart. You will suffer. Instead, recognize their humanity. Think of them in a positive manner and even if it is very, very difficult, say, “May they be well and happy.” Remember, if they are well and happy, they will be more loving and kind. And everyone will benefit.

And lastly, think of yourself, the friend, the neutral person, and the enemy. Bring everyone together. Then further extend your feelings of love and acceptance. Say, “May they all be well and happy” to everyone in your neighborhood, your town, your country and on and on throughout the world. Sense waves of LovingKindness flowing from your heart to everyone, to all sentient beings everywhere, known and unknown. “May all be happy, be peaceful, be free from suffering.”

“If I see you as different and I view you with suspicion, or at the best with cold neutrality, it is unlikely that I will feel kindly disposed toward you. If instead I look at you knowing we both belong to the human race, both have a similar nature, different experiences but the same roots and a common destiny, then it is probable I will feel openness, solidarity, empathy toward you. In another word, Kindness.” ~ Pierro Ferucci, author of The Power of Kindness

 

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Feb 06 2017

Healing Power of Hope

Category: BeliefPatricia @ 3:23 pm

hope

 

 

What is the difference between hope and hopelessness? Belief. We are able to hold on to hope when we have faith. Without faith, there is no hope. When we hope, we look forward to some event or experience and feel confident that it will happen the way we want it to happen. The way we believe it will happen; what we trust will happen. But unfortunately hope implies little certainty. It only suggests confidence in the possibility.

We all hope for things big and small. A mother holding her newborn child knows hope. A bride and a groom hope together. When a serious illness strikes or an accident happens to a loved one, hope begins. Hope is a most powerful force! We hold on to it for comfort and solace in our time of need. A soldier going into battle knows hope. An unjustly imprisoned person finds hope. Sometimes it is the only thing we have.

Hope feels good. It lightens your heart and eases your mind. Hope can make you feel connected to others; not so alone in the world. Hopelessness happens when you give up believing.

Dr. Bernie Siegel, in his first book “Love, Medicine and Miracles” describes a chemotherapy regimen called EPOCH. This regimen was being studied in a research protocol for efficacy. The results being reported from most of the study centers showed consistent results. There was some benefit from the chemotherapy but nothing remarkable. However, it was noted that one study center was getting dramatically better results. The research team investigated to find out what they were doing differently. Studies adhere to strict protocols so it was important to note.

What the research team found was that the doctor at that center had simply renamed the regimen. Instead of administering EPOCH, he told the patients that he was dosing them with HOPE. Hope is something you wish for; something you desire and anticipate. In this case, HOPE was just what the patients needed to believe that the treatment would be successful.

A diagnosis of cancer is just one of many things that happen in life which can create a feeling of hopelessness. This happens when we lose our optimism; when we feel desperate, faced with a problem which is impossible to resolve. Remember that the only difference between hope and hopelessness is belief. And belief is based on the thoughts you have repeated to yourself; the thoughts you have chosen to think. So start with a new thought; a hopeful thought. Repeat. And again. And before you know it, a shift will happen. And your beliefs may start to change. That’s when hope can happen.

 

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Dec 27 2016

Emptying Out

Category: ChoicesPatricia @ 12:06 pm

glass-of-water

 

In her book, Footprints on the Path, Eileen Caddy says, “Life is full and overflowing with the new. But it is necessary to empty out the old to make room for the new to enter.”   It’s that time of year again. That New Year time. We all look to the future with hope and enthusiasm. Anything is possible next year. We reflect on what we have and what we don’t have. We want new experiences, new relationships, new material goods to come into our life. We dream.

In order for anything new to happen, we need to empty out the old stuff; the clutter we have collected and the emotions we continue to feel. Clutter is a state of confusion and disorder. Clutter in our outside world is just a reflection of the clutter within.

Everything that is old is not necessarily bad or useless. Consider a piece of antique furniture or a treasured friendship. But some old stuff has to go. Holding on to old, worn-out things that don’t function right doesn’t make sense. You deserve better. Things should be useful…or beautiful. Staying within relationships which create tension or anxiety brings more of the same. Let go. Not everyone is part of your destiny. Realize that some people belong in the past. They are part of your history. We must let go of what no longer serves our best interest now. Not only at this time of year, but on a regular basis. The philosopher Lao Tzu says, “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

Your subconscious mind is the ultimate repository of the old. It has catalogued every circumstance and emotion you have experienced. It is not possible to empty out. But you can let go of the negative perceptions that you no longer want in your life. You can look upon your life experiences and choices with love, compassion and mercy for yourself. You can let go of false beliefs. When you let go of self-doubt, you become more confident. When you release fear, you become more loving. When you no longer judge yourself as unworthy, you become more successful. When you empty out the heavy burden of negativity, you become better, stronger, wiser.

When you empty out, you are not left with a glass that is half-filled. You are left with room to fill it with something new. And you can even let it overflow. You get to choose how you fill it and what it looks like, tastes like and feels like! And you don’t have to wait until the calendar changes and a New Year is declared. You can declare yourself as a New You whenever you want…as long as you have done the work of getting rid of the clutter that is holding you back…the clutter that says there is no time or no room or no place to go. Clutter can make you feel stuck or overwhelmed. It can weigh you down. It will never go away by itself. No one can take care of it for you. You decide what you want in life. And what you don’t. It’s up to you. As the powerful, creative being that you are, everything in life is really up to you.

May the year 2017 be a time of joy!

 

 

 

 

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